There are only 14 shopping days untilChristmas.

It's crunch time. Those wish lists aren't getting any shorter, slick.

Of course, buying for some people is so darned hard. That's why you have to be crafty.

Steal a letter or two destined for the Big Guy in Red himself.

Letters to Santa intercepted by TroyPolamalu (as thrown by Tony Romo):

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Plaxico Burress.Dear S-dog:Let's cut to the chase. I've been a bad boy. I'm probably No. 1 on your naughty list this year. I have been suspended more than Billy Joel's drivers license. I've broken all 16,419 of TomCoughlin's team rules. I've missed more meetings than you have elves working for you up there.That whole shooting-myself-in-the-leg thing? Yeah, not my finest moment. But can you see it in your heart to bring me a holster for Christmas? And maybe some new sweatpants?•

Colt McCoy.Dear Mr. Santa Claus, Sir:I feel weird asking you for this, sir, since there are many more deserving people out there in a more desperate situation than I (like all those fine folks in Alabama), but can you help a fella out?All I want for Christmas is a chance to play for a national championship. Can you bring down a few NCAA violations on Florida or Oklahoma? Nothing major, just enough to kick them out of the BCS game.Or how about one of those nifty computer glitches discovered at the last moment that proves the Hook 'em Horns belong in the title game?•

Neal Huntington.Mr. (No Trade) Claus:Can you play third base? Never mind.Here's my list: two starting pitchers, a catcher, third baseman, a sucker, er, taker for Jack Wilson, a corner outfielder, maybe a middle reliever or two and a tonic for 17 years of losing.That's it. Bring a big bag.•

Michael Phelps.St. Nick:Pretty much got everything I want. Did you see all those gold medals I got? The Wheaties commercial? Fame. Fortune. Babes. I can eat 20,000 calories a day and stay trim.Thanks anyway.•

Bill Belichick.Coach Santa:I've been spending a lot of time analyzing your offense. Your reindeer are big and physical, probably the toughest group of reindeer we have seen all season. Your elves are fast, quick and athletic. You and your staff do a good job managingChristmas Eve.I'd like a hoodie (cut off sleeves optional. I still have the scissors you brought me last year) and a new video camera.•

BenRoethlisberger.Dear Santa:How about a bleeping offensive line. I'm tired of scraping myself off the Heinz Field slop every bleeping Sunday.•

Romeo Crennel.Dear Santa:An electric football game so I can practice my play calling while electrocuting myself at the same time.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.