There are certain things they don't tell you when you become a father, and lately, I've wished that fatherhood came with a manual.

One recent fad for my daughter has been to want everything I eat, drink or read, and she's learned it from her mother. Either that, or it is in the female gene from birth.

Apparently through some miracle of science, a father's drink is colder (or more full) than anyone else's glass at the table. While I can see all of you males nodding your head "yes" to this little-known fact, your better halves and your daughters are shrugging their shoulders, perplexed at what I am saying.

Most often, our female family members use the phrase, "Can I have a drink of that?" right after we've come from mowing the lawn, shoveling mulch or walking 18 holes of golf in 90-degree weather.

The disturbing part, however, is that all of the women in the house know how to use the "please daddy" look that got us into this jam (I mean family situation) in the first place. Our defenses are useless against this powerful tool, so we merely give away our ice-cold beverage and settle for tepid tap water.

What is ironic, though, is that in six months, our hot chocolate will be warmer, blanket snugglier and sweaters warmer, so that we can give those up, too.

At the end of the day, all of you "fathers-in-training" need to know is that your food will be tastier, your side of the bed comfier, your car will ride smoother and your books are better than anything your wife and daughter will ever have, so you better get used to giving those things up right now.

One would think it's an easy problem to fix, right? Not so, as you females are a tricky species. Just when the male species thinks he's got it figured out, you trick us. The women change gears and after they've finished our drink, food or whatever strikes their fancy, they want their original back! It's blasphemy!

We can't win, guys.

The really sad part, though, is that they can't be helped. Apparently, in his infinite wisdom, God decided that he would bless women with this gift early in life, usually beginning at the age of 3.

Right now, my daughter is an apprentice, but she's learning quickly. I've watched her practice "the power" on her brother, and he's defenseless against her super powers.

"Alex, can I play with that toy?" It's not a question, it's a directive.

"Sure, Mia," he says, handing over whatever she wants. One day that will be cold, hard cash, buddy, so watch out.

Her smile and eyes tell the real story as she quickly ditches the toy and moves onto the next article of her desire, his french fries.

"Can I have some of those?" she points while moving a hand toward his fries.

I'd continue this little debate, but my daughter is at my leg.

"Can I type your paper, daddy?" She gives me the puppy dog eyes and I let her type the last sentence. Sorry, dear readers, but here's her work.

Xmplkemsdnptesnsproims (I think it says "Dora.")

Christian Ola, a community columnist for the Butler Eagle, resides in Mars with his wife, son and daughter and can be reached through www.christianola.com.