Do you have a Jorge Cantu attitude?

Or are you just a dirty, rotten Madison Bumgarner?

Even if you don't have a Chris Kluwe about sports, take this quiz anyway.

1. As candidates are eliminated from the Pirates managerial search, preferring to work at Starbucks instead of managing the club, who is the leading candidate?A. Jeff Banister (because he's there).B. Tony Pena (the N.Y. Yankees bench coach, not the lousy shortstop).C. The ghost of Connie Mack.D. Anyone with a pulse and Strat-O-Matic experience.E. Oliver Onion.

2. The last time the World Series didn't feature a team with a top-five payroll was?A. In 1997 (Marlins vs. Indians).B. In 2005 (White Sox vs. Astros).C. In 1990 (Reds vs. A's).D. In 1994 (When fans were robbed of the World Series by a senseless labor dispute).

3. Brett Favre?A. No, not him again!B. Seriously, him again?C. (Barf).D. Didn't really need to see his (alleged) genitals, but did anyway because of morbid curiosity.E. Really? He has the worst QB rating in the NFL. Move on already.

4. The most disappointing team in the NFL so far is?A. The San Diego (not-so-super) Chargers.B. Dallas Cowboys.C. Minnesota Vikings.D. The officials.

5. The only player guaranteed to get a World Series ring this season is?A. Benji Molina.B. Cody Ross.C. Not Barry Zito.D. Mickey Tettleton.

6. The worst thing about college football is?A. No playoff system.B. The endless instant replay reviews.C. Agents.D. Boise State and its obnoxious blue turf.

7. When is a catch in the NFL not a catch?A. A player must have complete control of the ball and have both feet completely on the ground inbounds or any other part of his body, other than his hands, on the ground inbounds. If the player loses the ball while simultaneously touching both feet or any other part of his body to the ground or if there is any doubt that the acts were simultaneous, there is no possession. This rule applies to the field of play and in the end zoneB. When the replay dude says it isn't.

8. The player voted to have the best name in the NFL is?A. C.J. Ah You.B. BenJarvis Green-Ellis.C. Michael Hoomanawanui.D. Jahvid Best.

Answer key:

1. D (Oliver Onion doesn't have enough experience);

2. A.

3. D (It was like a car wreck — you just

had to look);

4. A (But the Dolphins probably would answer D);

5. A (but if the Rangers win, Tettleton probably will get one because he is still one of the club's creditors in bankruptcy);

6. D;

7. B; 8. D (his name is "Best," duh!)Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.