SLIPPERY ROCK — January 1999 should have been an extremely happy time for Esera Tuaolo.

As a nose tackle for the Atlanta Falcons, he was going to play in the Super Bowl. However, he felt pain and fear instead.

At one point, he was sitting in the lobby of the hotel the team was staying at for the game, and he saw the wives and children of his teammates enter the lobby and embrace each other.

“I wanted 100 percent of that,” Tuaolo said Monday at Slippery Rock University.

When Tuaolo’s partner of five years, Mitchell, entered the lobby, Tuaolo wanted to hug and kiss him, and introduce him to other players and coaches.

“But, I didn’t. I couldn’t,” Tuaolo said.

The Falcons lost the game to the Denver Broncos, 34-19. When the team bus arrived back at the hotel, most of the players got off and hugged and kissed family members. Tuaolo could only pass Mitchell.

“What I really wanted to do was I wanted to grab him because I was hurting inside,” Tuaolo said.

Tuaolo, along with current Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, spoke at SRU in a program called “Tackling Homophobia: NFL Voices Inspire Change.”

Tuaolo, who played in the NFL from 1990 to 1999, came out as gay in 2003, and is one of only five former NFL players to do so. He said that hiding his sexuality hindered his ability to play to the level that he felt he could and there were many times in his career were he felt life was too much.

“I wanted to jump off that cliff. I wanted to pull that trigger,” Tuaolo said.

In the 1990s, he said he was considering suicide. However, a friend gave him a copy of a book by David Kopay, who was the first NFL player to come out as gay in the 1970s. Tuaolo said the book was like a “revelation.” When he wrote his own book in 2006, he hoped that it too could save someone.

“We need to bring bullying to the forefront,” Tuaolo said, noting that 270 children ages 10 to 14 killed themselves in 2005.

He referred to the old nursery rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

“That’s totally false. Words kill,” Tuaolo said.

This was the first time that Tuaolo and Kluwe spoke together, which they plan on doing more in the future. Additionally, Tuaolo said he is launching a new initiative next week called “Hate In Any Form Is Wrong,” and said he wants to save lives and wants everyone to feel “beautiful.”

“When I was in the closet, I definitely didn’t feel beautiful,” Tuaolo said.

Kluwe, who is straight, last September created a stir when he sent a letter to Maryland State Assembly Delegate Emmett Burns, who had sent a letter to the Baltimore Ravens telling them to silence linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who had publicly supported gay marriage.

Kluwe took issue with Burns’ letter partially because he felt the politician was trying to deny Ayanbadejo’s First Amendment rights and also because he feels that no one should try to control another person’s life.

He said gay Americans do everything required to be a citizen, but are denied some rights.

“It is discrimination. You cannot put it any other way,” Kluwe said.

Part of the reason he is so vocal about this issue is because of the way he was raised. He was taught to imagine walking in someone’s shoes and to treat others as he would be treated.

“It’s a very simple concept and all it requires is that you have empathy,” Kluwe said.

He said he has seen attitude changes in the locker room since he started in the NFL in 2005.

“Progress definitely is being made,” Kluwe said.

When it comes to discussing the issue with people who are against gay rights, Kluwe said the best thing to do is make personal connections and to not be afraid to speak out.

“It’s about starting conversations,” Kluwe said.