With changing roles, women gain new perspective
This Mother's Day, some women have a special perspective. They've celebrated the holiday as a daughter, mother, grandmother and perhaps even as a great-great-grandmother.
Their different roles have given them different insights into motherhood.
That was true for Sara Wester, 93, of Ford City, who will be marking this Mother's Day as a great-great-grandmother.
“She's my hero, let's put it that way,” said her daughter, Sandy Klingensmith of Butler. “She was a single mother and I think she did a great job in raising four kids. I had two brothers and a sister.”
Klingensmith said her mother still lives in her own home. Klingensmith said she and her sister, Gerri McCollim of Penn Hills, “get together every week with my mom. We take her out to dinner and we help her buy her groceries for the week.”
Wester said, “I'm still living where I raised my children. I'm still sitting in the same place. The last child left home, well that's been a long time ago, in the 1950s.”
She said the living is considerably easier now than it was during the war years.
“It was rough bringing the children up during World War II,” Wester said.
“My grandmother worked, she was a 'Rosie the Riveter' during the war and then she had her own restaurant after the war,” said Cindy Walowen of Butler about her grandmother, Getrude Cherry, 94 of Butler.
All the generations noted that more mothers were working outside the home now.
“I had to go to work and Sandy went to work,” said Wester.
“Mothers had to work,” Walowen said, however adding “Even when I was a teenager, I would come home to mom and there she was.
“My mother did not work,” she said. “My mother never drove. My father was a truck driver and he was never around. She relied on her brothers and sisters, she had eight of them, and they would take her to get groceries a lot.
“And when there were emergencies, like if my sister or brother needed stitches, one of my uncles would take them to the hospital.”
“I worked just because I wanted to,” Walowen said, “I only worked part time and evenings and stuff. My mother never worked. She never had to, but she had five kids.”
“My grandmother had eight kids but she worked. She had two, then she married a man with four and they had two more, so she had a lot of kids,” Walowen said.
“I think motherhood has changed in the fact that fathers have taken more of a hand in raising their children,” Klingensmith said.
“I think it is better that more fathers are involved,” Klingensmith said, crediting her husband, Jerry, with helping to raise their children.
Still, there is one part of modern mothering that Klingensmith isn't happy about.
“I wish they had more stay-at-home moms. It seems like moms have to go out and work right after the baby is born. It would be better if the mother could stay and raise them, but they have to work, so what can you do?”
But Walowen doesn't think that all the changes have been bad.
“I think medically there are more medical breakthroughs now,” Walowen said. “You can live longer and they can fix more things than way back when.”“The medical field has really changed for the better, and then you go to the computer field. Cell phones. Who would have ever thought everybody would have a cell phone?” Walowen asked.But it's not just technology that has changed. All the women said time has brought alterations to relationships with their mothers.April Coddington, 29, of Butler, said her relationship with her mother, Cindy Walowen, definitely changed when Coddington had children of her own.“I respect her more,” said Coddington. “Growing up you don't realize the punishments. It's hard to understand until you are older. Now that I'm older, I understand a lot of how she raised me. When you are a kid, you are angry with parents a lot.”“I respect the way that they raised me,” Coddington said. “I was definitely brought up in a great home, not to mention I have such a large extended family. We were all very close.”“They learned that I knew more than they thought I did,” said Klingensmith of her children.“But they've very respectful and very loving kids. They all have good jobs and they are all very smart,” Klingensmith said of her child-rearing results.Speaking of her own daughter, Walowen said, “I think we have gotten closer now that she has her own babies. I try to help out as much as I can, especially with the second one. I tried to be over there as much as I could.”But however much time has passed, worrying about your children remains a constant for every mother no matter her age.“The world has changed a lot,” said Walowen. “I think the world is a lot more scary. You have to be worried now they will steal the kids out of your backyard.”“Today, I think kids are not kids, they grow up too fast,” Walowen said.“No, it's not better now, it's a lot more trouble,” said Wester. “You didn't have to worry about your kids so much back then. You thought they were safe.”Klingensmith said she would like to see today's children act more like children.“It's a hard job to raise kids. It very important for kids to have manners and be respectful,” she said. “They are very smart nowadays, but they would be more healthy if they did get out and have some fun instead of watching the computers. That's what my kids did. They were outside all of the time. Of course, they did have a big yard to play in.”Wester said the only advice she would give about raising children applies to all ages.“Just make them listen and keep a close watch on them,” Wester said. “Know what they are doing and know what they are up to.”Still, the annual celebration of mothers gives everyone a chance to reflect on their own mothers and daughters.“I think I am really blessed to still have my grandmother, my mother, my daughter and my grandchildren,” said Walowen. “I am right in the middle, and I think I am really blessed to have such a wonderful, big family.”Coddington added, “I say Mother's Day is a very respected holiday. To be a good mother and a good daughter and a good granddaughter takes a lot of love and patience.”
