Where is Thomas "Tommy" Alfred Maddox when you need him?

Because of Pig Ben's offseason debauchery, the Steelers find themselves in a precarious position when it comes to the most important position on the field: quarterback.

Byron Leftwich? Still gimpy with a sprained knee. Pat him lightly on the shoulder and he may blow out a rotator cuff.

Dennis Dixon? Out for a few weeks with a pesky meniscus tear.

Ben Roethlisberger? Still offering his penance to the NFL for past indiscretions.

That leaves only Charlie Batch to take the reins of the offense when the Steelers play the suddenly competent Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday.

Batch doesn't elicit much confidence, unless you are in a Brittle QB Fantasy League and get points for the number of fluke QB injuries.

Batch broke his wrist throwing a pass last season, after all.

So, the Steelers could turn to another source of quarterbacking. Even after Pig Ben returns, they probably will need a backup.

Here are some hot QB names toiling away in other leagues (or other ventures) that the Black and Gold can pluck.

Who knows? He may be the next Kurt Warner — or Tommy Maddox.

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Brooks Bollinger, Florida Tuskers, UFL.The reigning United Football League MVP, Bollinger played 21 games in the NFL and made 10 starts.Sure, he's 40 and hasn't played in the NFL since 2008.But Batch hasn't tossed more than 53 passes in a season since 2001. At least Bollinger doesn't have cobwebs under his right arm.•

Henry Burris, Calgary Stampeders, CFL.Burris is like a smaller, more experienced version of Dixon.Just don't start him against Tampa. In his only NFL start, Burris had a QB rating of 10.3 against the Bucs, which is also the average winter temperature in Calgary.•

Chris Greisen, Milwaukee Iron, AFL.The dude has played for the Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins, Rhein Fire, Green Bay Blizzard, Dallas Desperados, Georgia Force, Florida Tuskers and, of course, the Milwaukee Iron.Who else can say that?•

JaMarcus Russell, sipping "purple drank" on the beach somewhere.If he doesn't work out as backup quarterback, the Steelers can always convert him to right tackle.•

Pat White, Kansas City Royals.Now a baseball player, White might be persuaded to give football another try.Just don't send Ike Taylor to recruit him.•

Tyler Palko, Bill Stull, Rod Rutherford or any other former Pitt reject quarterback.At least they know the way to Heinz Field.

Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.