KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Tara Smith wears her 2-month-old son, Ronan, in a fabric sling she sewed.

The sling frees Smith's hands for household tasks and helping her other children, Lily, 3, and Aden, 6. It is also a symbol of Smith's commitment to attachment parenting, a child-raising style that advocates extensive physical contact between parents and child as a way of strengthening the familial bond.

"This society prizes independence so much, and I believe attachment parenting has made my kids more independent," said Smith, a 30-year-old stay-at-home mother in Overland Park, Kan. "Aden has no problem running off and playing with other kids because he knows his parents are always here if he needs them."

The popularity of attachment parenting has grown nationwide largely because of online forums. A Kansas City, Mo.-area forum, www.kcapfamilies.com, has quickly climbed to more than 200 members, including Smith, in the last 18 months. Members of the forum meet at playgroups and events to share information and support one another.

Parents become interested in attachment parenting after reading child-raising books by William and Martha Sears, the doctor-and-nurse husband and wife who collectively have become the modern Dr. Spock. They wrote "The Attachment Parenting Book." Others hear about attachment parenting through La Leche League or Mothering magazine; both encourage the approach.

"It sounds like a throwback to good, instinctual parenting," said Larry Ro-Trock, a psychologist and family therapist in Kansas City. "Kids and parents need to be connected before they separate. A lot of adults who have problems didn't have a sufficient parental bond."

Attachment parenting differs from traditional parenting in many ways: Mothers tend to have drug-free births, sometimes at home. They often use cloth diapers, natural baby-care products and organic food.

"Attached parents often question mainstream thinking," said Brookie-Lee Glaser of Lee's Summit, Mo., who uses the parenting style with her two sons, ages 2 and 10 months

Some tenets of attachment parenting are controversial:

Co-sleeping

Amy Lande, a child and family therapist in Overland Park, said attachment parenting is based on the work of British psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 1950s. She believes the original principles are solid but fears today's attachment parenting has evolved into a new form she thinks can be dangerous, especially when parents and their children sleep in one bed.

The American Academy of Pediatrics also cautions against parent-and-child co-sleeping because of the risk of suffocation. Some parents who practice attachment parenting use co-sleep mattresses that secure to the parents' bed or keep bassinets or cribs in the master bedroom so they can easily breast-feed in the middle of the night.

Parental intimacy

That's the first thing people ask about attachment parenting because of co-sleeping, attachment parents say. They point out that intimacy doesn't have to happen in the bedroom.

"You just have to be creative," Smith said.`

Lande has reservations.

"I don't think it's good for adults and their relationship. I have a lot of clients who have problems getting their children out of their beds," she said.

Extended breast-feeding

American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breast-feeding infants for at least one year for developmental and bonding benefits. But it said children should be given whole milk between the ages of 1 and 2 to get dietary fats needed for development.

Many attachment parents breast-feed their children longer, even past the age of 3. Pediatricians say it's OK as long as the child also gets whole milk.

Smith breast-fed her son, Aden, until he was 21 months old. She also gave him whole milk.

Discipline

A major aspect of attachment parenting is positive discipline, which means consequences for actions are explained without raising voices or spanking. Many attachment parents don't give timeouts.

"With negative discipline, more is caught than taught," Ro-Trock said. "It shows the child it's OK to yell and argue."

But Lande said attachment parenting can go overboard, especially when it comes to positive discipline.

"I think it can foster dependency if you meet every need of children toddler-age and older," she said. "Kids need to learn there are good and bad choices and that it's OK to fail. They need the chance to become their own person."

Preparation for childbirth: Make decisions about birth that allow for immediate bonding between mother and baby.• Emotional responsiveness: Being connected to the baby's physical needs and spending enjoyable time interacting• Breast-feeding• Baby wearing: Using a fabric sling or soft carrier to create close physical contact• Shared sleep: Sleeping in the same bed so the child is close by for breast-feeding• Avoiding frequent or prolonged separations from a baby: If both parents work, having a consistent, loving caregiver is the next best option• Positive discipline: Setting limits for a child in a warm, loving manner• Maintaining balance in family life: Avoiding "parent burn out" by not neglecting personal needsSource: attachmentparenting.org