And, in a show of great political savvy, the United States swapped first round draft choices with Russia’s top negotiator, Vlad Putin, in exchange for a 32-year-old basketball star.

The Russians were able to get a known arms dealer back onto their roster in time for the Christmas holidays and the playoffs being held in Ukraine with plenty of time for them to increase the holiday assaults on the neighboring countries.

It was unclear whether either the arms dealer or the stud athlete had to pass through waivers or were required to waive the no trade clause in their contracts. The White House policy of “no star athlete left behind” has triumphed over the evil empire, and Brittney Griner will be able to come off the disabled-due-to-drug-arrest list before Santa appears over the Capitol Building, or at least by Jan. 6.

It is unclear whether the United States has enough room under the salary cap to secure the release of any professors or other non-athletes before the next collective bargaining agreement with dictators and drug lords goes into effect.

It is a great relief to the American people to know that our leaders have resolved this crisis and can now focus on things like the economy, inflation, the border crisis and maybe even world peace.

All praise to Wilt Chamberlain and Pistol Pete Maravich for setting the bar so high for our hero worship of athletes. How did Herschel Walker lose? Surely we should have elevated such an athlete to a higher level.

Politics and politicians are amazing.

— RV