We all know how important time is — or do we? Some say: Time is money. Well, it may be that, but in schools and homes, it can be a lot more.

Time is scarce and irreplaceable. How we spend time is basic to who we are and what we hope for our children. A big problem is this: We don't always know how to spend time well. There are no set rules to follow.

I watched a big clock last week at a local high school basketball game. The home team was down more than 20 points near the close of the game. The game had minutes to go. The players may have wanted to quit right then and there, but they kept on. They knew what they had to do. They were following the game's rules.

For the rest of us, off the sports fields, when it comes to time, we have to figure out our own rules. In these days of busyness and rush, these are not easy to come by. Here are six that have helped me. Add and subtract and come up with your own list.

Rule 1: The most important purchase we can make is not sold in any store. It is time with our children. This is the commitment, made to ourselves and our children, that time together is important.

Rule 2: It doesn't take a lot of time to do a lot of good. A few minutes a day can work more wonders than elaborate computer games. Those minutes say to your child: "I care about you. Let's be together."

Rule 3: The nooks and crannies of even the busiest day provide valuable moments: the ride in the car, the wait at the bus stop or in a supermarket line. And remember to look up at the sky and notice the clouds, the sun, the rain.

Rule 4: Talk, share, try not to nag and to ask the overwhelming, "How was your day?" question. Instead, try littler, more evocative questions: "What did you notice today that you didn't see before? What is the best school lunch?" Ask yourself the same questions and share your own answers.

Rule 5: Let children know that conversation is a two-way street. It is their responsibility to talk with you, too — not just your responsibility to talk and entertain. Suggest they think of a question or two for you to answer.

Rule 6: Do things together as you talk — this gets chores done and you have something to talk about. Rake leaves together. Wash dishes and put them away together. Straighten a room together and, of course, read a book together.

This is the season for hurry, hurry, hurry. When we have money, we do a lot of buying. And while our children tell us they really want all those things ... the computer and video games and toys galore, what they really need is us ... even when they don't admit to it.

When parents say, "This is together time," children will test. They may resist, especially when they are not used to it. But, with time, and yes, it takes time, they will come round.

And parents, remember that this is a gift for you, too. The computer can wait. So can the video games. Time really does march on. Let's use it as wisely as we can.

Dorothy Rich is founder and president of the nonprofit Home and School Institute, MegaSkills Education Center in Washington.