Every year, I inevitably get some kind of Buffalo Bills memorabilia for Christmas.

Whether it is a fleece pullover and JimKelly jersey like last year, or a replica mini-helmet, T-shirt or hat, something Bills always finds its way under the tree.

I loved them all. But, then there was that one Buffalo Bills "gift" I got that wasn't so welcome.

It was a gag gift to be sure. Still, it turned my stomach.

A Rob Johnson jersey.

Yes. All who know me know my disdain for Johnson. My ire for him is only surpassed by J.P. Los-er-man. The Bills gave me the best Christmas present when they made Losman the third-stringer after the debacle in the Meadowlands two weeks ago, burying him on the depth chart deeper than Jimmy Hoffa in the North end zone of Giants Stadium.

I'm sure there are worse sports gifts than a J.P. Losman or Rob Johnson jersey.

Here are some that spring to mind:

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Tom Brady jersey. My wife has told me if she finds one of these under the tree some Christmas morning, we will be divorced by New Years Day.An ardent Steelers fan, and therefore an ardent Patriots hater, there is no one on the planet she loathes more than Brady, except for maybe Lendale White after his jig on the Terrible Towel Sunday.I also have a standing divorce decree should a Losman autographed football (by way of an intercepting defender) finds its way into my Christmas stocking.•

Manny Ramirez wig (to a Red Sox fan). Everyone in L.A. dug the fake dreadlocks last fall when the Sox dealt the disgruntled star to Hollywood.But Manny can be Manny anywhere else but Boston these days. To a Sox fan, anythingManny-related unwrapped Christmas morning is paramount to a declaration of war.•

An unregistered loaded gun and sweatpants. You'll shoot your thigh out, kid. How about some car insurance?•

Jerome Burnitz autographed baseball. Rub the signature off and the baseball becomes more valuable.•

Bat used by Francisco Cabrera in the 1992 NLCS (to a Pirates fan). I'm sure nothing would make a Buccos fan sicker than unwrapping this Dec. 25.•

George Steinbrenner bobblehead (to any baseball fan). And it only costs $424 million — the money George has shelled out this winter on free agents CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira. His goal is clear: to sign

every free agent, no matter the price. He may pay the equivalent of the national debt for a World Series.And his bobblehead rocking on your (mickey) mantle will be a reminder of how messed up baseball is.•

Best of the rest: Michael Vick autographed dog collar; Cliff Stoudt jersey; Detroit Lions season tickets; Steely McBeam beer mug (slightly used); Charles Barkley authored "Gambling for Dummies" book.Merry Christmas. I hope you find all the goodies you desire under the tree.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.