Memories Mom
On Mother's Day, we honor the women who raised us with gifts, love and words of praise.
For those who have lost their mothers, however, Mother's Day is a time to reflect on the memories and life lessons they left behind.
Five Butler County women volunteered to share memories about their mothers, some lost years ago, and others only recently deceased.
Alhough her birthday fell on Mother's Day the year she was born, Amy Montag-Smith of Summit Township knows that this Mother's day will not be as happy an occasion."It's just not going to be a fun day for me,"said Smith, who lost her mother to breast cancer less than a year ago.One of five children, Smith was 42 when her mother, Theresa Montag, died at 87.As the youngest child in the family, Smith recalls a special bond with her mother."We were extremely close, actually,"she said.With siblings anywhere from 9 to 22 years older than Smith, she describes her birth as an unplanned blessing for mother and daughter alike.Smith described her mother as gracious, and said she was always her personal cheerleader."I was perfect in her eyes."Mother and daughter shared a deep faith, and Smith believes one day they will reunite in heaven."For right now, Ijust miss her."To keep her memory close each day, Smith makes sure to wear a piece of clothing or jewelry that belonged to her mother.Smith wears her mother's wedding ring, a yellow gold band, alongside her own.Since shopping together was a favorite pastime, Smith also likes to wear some of her mothers sweaters."She was very stylish for an elderly woman."
Perhaps the most meaningful of the inherited pieces is a gold chain bracelet, her mother's favorite.Montag gave the bracelet to her mother just before her last surgery."She said, 'I want you to wear this until Ican wear it again.'"Despite the comfort she takes by surrounding herself with memories of her mother, Smith still misses her shopping buddy and best friend."No matter how old you are — you can be 12 or 42 or 72, it's never an easy thing and you never get over losing your mother."<br></br><br></br>
Throughout her adult life, when Barb Gonzalez became a single mother, when she faced the challenges of raising teenagers or when she just needed to talk, her mother had the coffee ready."No matter what happens, there's nothing that a cup of coffee between a mom and daughter won't fix," she said, reciting the life lesson taught by Wanda Sallitt, Gonzalez's mother and best friend."That was a very special medicine," said Gonzalez, who worked through many a problem over a cup of coffee with her mother.One of Gonzalez's fondest memories occurred toward the end of her mother's life.After a disagreement that left her feeling isolated from her family, Gonzalez went to her mother, who had been residing in the Chicora Medical Center."Ijust didn't feel like I could go to anyone in my family, except my mother."To her surprise, her 80-year-old mother got out of her bed, inviting her daughter to lie down and talk about what was bothering her."The nurse brought us coffee and I laid in her bed and cried like a baby," she said."When I left there that day, I felt so good."In December 2004, soon after that coffee visit, Sallitt died, leaving Gonzalez without her main confidant.One day, Gonzalez found herself parked across from her mother's former home, wishing someone was there to share a cup of coffee with her.
Her problems were once again eased as she took a cup of coffee on a visit to her mother's grave, once again relying on her mom to listen."Now my daughter and I have coffee together," she said.Like Gonzalez said of her mother, her daughter Devyn Bowers of Karns City calls her mother her best friend."We are best friends," stressed Bowers. "We do everything together.Everything includes the birth of Bowers' youngest son, born eight months ago.Despite the joyous occasions they have shared, Gonzalez always has the coffee pot ready for when heartaches surface.<br></br><br></br>
Only four months after marriage, Domenico and Jennifer Lamberto are planning to renew their vows.Planning for the summer ceremony began soon after the couple was engaged in October 2005.
Like many brides-to-be, Jennifer Lamberto worked with her mom to purchase decorations and make reservations for her dream day."We talked pretty much every day,"she recalled.Yet plans changed when Jennifer's mother, Rosemarie Slupe of Center Township, was diagnosed with breast cancer.Early in the new year, Slupe was admitted to the hospital and the family was told Slupe did not have much time left.Knowing her mother wanted to see her only child get married, on Jan. 6, the family began plans to hold a wedding in the hospital.Jennifer's future father-in-law spoke to County Commissioner Glenn Anderson, who helped expedite the marriage license process and arranged for Judge Thomas Doerr to officiate the ceremony.On Jan. 9, the couple was united in marriage in Slupe's hospital room. Present were several family members and Jennifer's maid of honor.Flowers were donated by the family of a hospital patient who had died earlier. Having already purchased her wedding gown, Jennifer was dressed for the occasion.Though unable to speak, Slupe was awake during the ceremony and watched her daughter and son-in-law exchange vows."She just kind of could stare and see what was going on," said Jennifer.A week later, Slupe died in the hospital at the age of 48."We fulfilled one of her last things she wanted to do,"said Jennifer.Though she and her husband have been married for several months, Jennifer is continuing with the plans for the ceremony at The Atrium in Prospect, so friends and family will be able to share in their union."It'll probably be a little weird,"she said of proceeding with the ceremony her mother had helped plan.<br></br><br></br>
Bonnie Marburger of Connoquenessing associates memories of her childhood with the aroma and taste of cinnamon.A spice used by her mother Leah Burr Domhoff in baking and making apple butter, Marburger still loves the taste of cinnamon in foods.Ahomemaker, Marburger's mother made apple butter and baked goods and canned tomatoes and meats."We had a farm and they raised all our food," remarked Marburger, remembering the abundance of sausages and canned tomatoes and beef.A generous woman, Marburger says her mother never refused to feed a hungry passer-by on the back porch of their home on Route 68."She was always good at feeding the hobos," she said, listing ham and eggs as a popular request.In addition to the hard work within the home, Marburger said her mother was active in the community, helping with church sales and the ladies auxiliary of the Connoquenessing Volunteer Fire Department."You could always count on her," said Marburger.Asingle grandmother raising two grandchildren, Marburger claims to have inherited her mother's in-control personality."She was definitely the boss; she ruled the roost," said Marburger.Despite her mother's firm temperament, Marburger misses the unconditional love she felt when they were together."Once you lose your mother, you don't have anybody who loves you with a green snotty nose,"she joked.<br></br><br></br>
Although she also holds several possessions left behind by her mother, Jeanie Elliott of Butler Township used her hobby of writing to preserve her memories.In 2003, she composed "Pieces of Broken Glass," a short story recounting the difficulties of her mother's childhood and the optimistic nature Elliott said characterized her mother, Betty Rider Cochran, throughout life.Cochran was one of 17 children born to a coal miner and a homemaker during the Great Depression."Existence was so unbelievably difficult that our generation could scarcely imagine it," wrote Elliott.Describing a life of little luxury, the children left school at a young age to begin earning money to support the family and home, a house with no running water or electricity.Despite the difficult lives of the children and their parents, Elliott described the family as close."Each child loved their mother, respected their father and was loyal without exception to each other," the story documented.The story, filling just more than two typed pages, takes focus on one daughter among the numerous children.The young girl, later identified as Elliott's mother, collected pieces of broken glass from the side of the road, a diversion from the challenges of daily life."A small thing you may think! But in a world where everything from landscape, to clothing to clapboard house were dull shades of gray, this child had found something shiny and colorful to brighten her day," wrote the author.The search for colorful pieces of glass relates to the way Elliott remembers her mother looking at life, remembering her mom looking for the bright side or characteristic in each person or situation."She's just always loved everybody that she knew," said Elliott. "I think that's because she had such a wonderful relationship with her Lord."As the oldest of two daughters, Elliott's childhood was markedly different from her mother's.Whereas her mother left school at a young age, Elliott was able to complete a degree in registered nursing."That was something that she herself always wanted to do, but she never told me that until quite a bit afterword."Though her mother died in 1998, Elliott said her mother still influences her today."When I do things, I try to think about what she would do or say."
