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Scoop discovers whereabouts of Kitty Claus

Scoop, Butler Eagle mascot
Scoop flew to the North Pole this year to interview Santa Claus’ daughter Kitty.

Scoop here, once again answering the challenge of finding a subject to interview for the Christmas season.

I discovered the existence of Kitty Claus, daughter of Santa Claus. She was hesitant about doing the interview, but was impressed by how I flew to the Claus residence and pecked on her window until she let me in.

Kitty: Haven’t you strayed a bit far from home?

Scoop: All in a day’s work, Kitty.

Kitty: How do you know my name? I figured I’ve been forgotten about in the public eye.

Scoop: You sound bitter. I have to admit, I wasn’t sure you existed until I saw your light on up here while your father was outside checking on the sleigh.

Kitty: Dad’s getting ready to fly. He has to be sure the sleigh is ready, too. And, yes, I suppose I’m a bit bitter. I was the star of a Christmas burlesque musical back in 1892. The show didn’t go well, and I was out of the limelight just like that.

Scoop: That was so long ago ... If you don’t mind me saying so, you still look pretty good.

Kitty: We are all ageless at the North Pole. That means we don’t age.

Scoop: But Santa ...

Kitty: When you eat as many cookies, drink as much eggnog and log the miles worldwide he has for all these years, it’s bound to take its toll.

Scoop: Let’s talk about you, Kitty. Rumor has it you wanted to relocate to the states years ago. Why?

Kitty: Just to meet people. I was hoping to meet a guy, settle down a little bit. It gets lonely for a girl up here. It’s snowing and cold most of the time, you know?

Scoop: But you have so many people right here. I mean, Santa’s workshop is loaded ...

Kitty: With elves! It’s loaded with elves! They are nice guys, don’t get me wrong, but try dancing with one. I don’t dare wear heels and kneepads aren’t exactly in style.

Scoop: I notice your clothes look like Santa suits, but they are in different colors.

Kitty: Red isn’t always in season. My favorite is blue. If I wear green, I blend in with the elves, brown, with the reindeer ... I have to be me. And blue is me. And by wearing different colors, I can accessorize.

Scoop: Your dad doesn’t mind the different colors? He always struck me as a traditionalist.

Kitty: Nah, It’s nice to look different at the father-daughter dance. Besides, he likes looking at a different color when we’re out together on Christmas Eve.

Scoop: Wait a minute! You go with him?

Kitty: Of course. Dad’s a trooper, but he can’t possibly handle all of that baggage by himself. I help guide him to stops, assist with getting presents down the chimneys, that sort of thing. All of that traveling, you can’t leave that to a man. He never stops to ask for directions.

Scoop: Anything else?

Kitty: A few years ago, I started keeping a travel log on Facebook. I thought this might come up, so here’s a copy of last year’s log. By the time we hit Nicaragua, we had handed out 7 billion, 132 million, 914 thousand, 385 gifts altogether.

Scoop: That sleigh can only hold so much, right?

Kitty: I can pack it in. All it takes is a woman’s touch.

Scoop: Kitty, this has been an enlightening conversation.

Kitty: Speaking of which, how is an eagle able to talk?

Scoop: I’ll ask the questions, if that’s OK.

Kitty: No problem. Curiosity, I guess. I have to go shopping, anyway.

Scoop: You like shopping?

Kitty: Of course. Who do you think buys Santa his gift?

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