Community Memorial Service sees tears, hope
Tears were allowed Sunday at Butler Memorial Hospital as 250 people honored their late loved ones at the annual Community Memorial Service at Butler Memorial Hospital.
The hospital hosts the event each holiday season, which can be particularly difficult for those grieving the death of a friend or family member.
A muted handbell sounded when each of the 85 names of the attendees' deceased loved ones were read aloud during the service's White Rose Ceremony. The hospital's candy stripers distributed a rose to the family member or friend of each person named during the touching ceremony.
Families also received a blessed Christmas ornament during the service.
The program also included six female dancers from the SheLor School of Dance, who performed in simple flowing white dresses to the strains of “Knockin' on Heaven's Door.”
The band Sowing Seeds performed poignant renditions of “You Raise Me Up,” “Homesick” and “I Can Only Imagine” as many in the audience wiped away tears.
One of the most moving elements of the service came when two young girls, Lydia Maley and Anastasia Manchester, sang the song “Puzzles,” which laid bare the pain of facing the holidays without a beloved mother, father, brother, sister, son or daughter.
Ken DeFurio, Butler Health System's president and CEO, said at the beginning of the service that for many years, he felt as if something was missing even though the health system offered more and more health care services every year.
Then he had dinner with Dr. Kathy Selvaggi, who is now the health system's director of palliative care. He learned that a palliative care team cares for the body, mind and spirit of those with a dire medical diagnosis and their families.
“I was driving home from dinner thinking 'This is what's missing,'” DeFurio said, who brought palliative care to the health system in four years ago.
The Rev. Mark Brown opened the memorial service with a prayer that reminded the grieving that they are strong.
“I am not powerless and I am surviving,” Brown said.
Jenna Rhodaberger, the health system's palliative care social worker and organizer of the annual service, said one of the main purposes of the event is to remind those who are grieving a loss at the holidays that they are not alone.
She said some people dread preparing a dinner their late loved one prepared just the year before or even attending family events that will be different because of a loss.
“That's OK,” Rhodaberger said. “Do what you need to do to survive this holiday season.”
She said some people give gifts to strangers to honor their loved one, or leave an empty seat for them at the holiday table, or light a candle in their memory at the family holiday gathering.
Brown's closing prayer asked God to bless the hospital's doctors and staff as they carry out their duties caring for the community, and offered appreciation from those in attendance.
“Thank you for the courage you have given us to face the loss of those we love,” he said.
Vonda McElhinny of Middlesex Township attended the community service for the first time Sunday even though her daughter, Sunny Jo, died in 1988.
“The service helps you to know there are other people out there like you,” she said while clutching her long-stemmed white rose.
Brittney Everett and her family traveled from their home in Armstrong County to attend the service in honor of her mother, Jennifer Kelly, who died in May in Butler County.
She appreciated the many ways the service expressed the feeling of grief through dance, song, poetry and prayer.
“The songs really touched my heart,” Everett said.
She also liked the methods Rhodaberger discussed on how to honor her mother during her family's first holiday without her.
“I'll try to find better ways to get through the holiday season,” Everett said. “I got some ideas for things I can do.”
Rhodaberger was pleased with the results of the service, after which attendees enjoyed cookies and coffee.
“I hope people know that grief is a lifelong experience and they are not alone,” she said.
