I hate when my exercise equipment talks to me — especially the surly elliptical trainer I inherited when my daughter left home.

The elliptical occupies the center of my upstairs workroom, looming over my shoulder when I sit hunched at the computer desk and reminding me that I have better things to do than play Lumosity games or watch cute cat videos. “Hey,” it says in its raspy voice. “Get up and do something.”

The voice and the attitude are part of why the elliptical is my least favorite of exercise options. I’d much rather be outside running, immersed in my own thoughts and completely under my own control than listening to the mechanical whir-and-squeak while I run the preprogrammed hills of the machine’s choosing.

Today that voice was especially annoying. I sat at the computer gazing wistfully out the window at raindrops popping on the patio below. Just three days into a new training schedule and here I was contemplating skipping out on my first interval run.

“What’s the matter?” the elliptical snarked. “Gonna melt?”

“I’m going, I’m going already,” I said to myself, ignoring the hulking metal beast behind me. “Just checking the weather.”

I checked the weather for the fifth time that morning, hoping for something different, but the great green blob over Western Pennsylvania hadn’t budged. I pictured myself wiping cold rain from my eyes and dodging puddles as I tried to focus on 400-meter intervals. Just the thought made me shiver.

“Hey,” said the elliptical, in a softer tone this time, “I can help you with that.”

I resisted at first, continuing to stare through the raindrops. But the more it poured, the more I began to see what my mechanical friend had to offer.

It wasn’t as if I had a long run planned. A ten-miler on the elliptical would be slow torture, even if accompanied by a leftover Christmas DVD. And in distance training, nothing duplicates actually running a long run on the road or trail, pounding out the minutes and miles.

But 400-meter intervals are different. These repetitions train the cardiovascular system rather than the legs. This training technique was developed in the 1940s by the great Czech distance runner Emil Zatopek, who theorized that since the heart is a muscle, it could be strengthened by training just like any other muscle of the body. Runners have been doing intervals ever since.

Runs of 400-meter intervals should be fast enough to raise the heartbeat to maximum without going into oxygen debt. Heart rate rises in the first 200 meters, then stays at maximum before the rest period of approximately 90 seconds allows it to come back down.

The number of repetitions should be enough to progressively load the system without complete fatigue. Each interval gets a little more difficult but should still be doable. I had 12 on my schedule.

“OK,” I said, switching the power on to the elliptical. “You win. I’ll give it a try. At least I don’t have to wear a raincoat.” The machine beeped happily in response.

I programmed an hour into the controls, enough time for 10 minutes of warm-up and cool-down on each end of the interval session and enough resistance to mimic running on the road. I made a few adjustments to accommodate running on the elliptical, doing two-minute instead of 400-meter intervals. I found that keeping the rpms above 90 per minute felt like the proper pace to exercise my heart — hard but doable.

Without the annoyances of rain, wind and uneven footing, I could focus on the process. I finished fatigued, but not exhausted and checked the workout off my schedule.

As I headed toward the shower, I think I overheard a voice say, “See ya next rainy day.”

Upcoming events

Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m.: Mojo Run Group, Cranberry Township. All paces, distances and ages welcome. 724-772-2808 or info@mojorunningpittsburgh.com

Saturdays, 8 a.m.: Up-N-Running Group Run, Valencia. All paces, distances and ages welcome. 724-898-2525 or shoes@runpa.com

Saturdays: Butler Babes group trail runs, various locations. Run various distances on trails in area parks. tamsuemcg@embarqmail.com

Saturday, Noon: Winter Wing Challenge 5k and 1 Mile, Sharpsville. All you can eat wings after the race. 724-456-2373 or frstacrs@yahoo.com

Saturday, 1 p.m.: Run 2 Read Half Marathon, Fairmont, WV. Run through Prickett’s Fort State Park. 304-694-6042 or www.runtoread.org

Saturday, 1 p.m.: Resolution Run 5k Run and Walk, Derry. Run around Keystone Lake. 724-464-0900 or Runsignup.com

Sunday, 9 a.m.: Frigid 5 Miler, North Park. Post-race pancake breakfast. 412-490-0881 or www.eliterunnersracing.com

Jan. 12, 6 p.m.: UPMC Sports Academy, Cranberry Township. Free presentation at UPMC Lemieux Sports Complex. This month’s topic: New Year Plan for Getting and Staying in Shape. 724-720-3068 or turleype@upmc.edu

Jan. 14, 11 a.m.: Chilly Cheeks Challenge 10 Mile, 5 Mile or 2.5 Mile, Hermitage. Run through Buhl Farms Park. 724-456-2373 or pittsmullet@verizon.net

Jan. 15, 10 a.m.: The Bushwacker’s Nightmare Trail Run, South Park. Greater Pittsburgh Road Runners event with choice of 5k or 10k in South Park. 724-348-6012 or bmcglothlin@hotmail.com

Jan. 16, 10 a.m.: Somerset Fire & Ice 5k Run & Walk, Somerset. Part of winter festival. 814-445-6213 or dmapes40@yahoo.com

Jan. 17, 10 a.m.: Bushwacker’s Nightmare Trail Run, South Park. Choice of 5k or 10k sponsored by GPRRC. 412-341-0684 or thegprrc@gmail.com

Jan. 21, 9 a.m.: Trot the Trail 5k, Rittman, OH. Run through pastures and woods at Rockin T.K. Stables. www.westernracing.com

Jan. 29, 8 a.m.: Winter Buckeye Trail Runs, Peninsula, OH. Choice of 50k, 26.2 or 13.1 miles through scenic Cuyahoga Valley National Park. www.westernracing.com

Feb. 2, 6 p.m.: UPMC Sports Academy, Cranberry Township. Free presentation at UPMC Lemieux Sports Complex. This month’s topic: Runners: Stay on the Road and Out of the Doctor’s Office. 724-720-3068 or turleype@upmc.edu

Feb. 4, 9 a.m.: Allegheny 9 – North Park 10k, Allison Park. Part of Allegheny 9 series showcasing the nine Allegheny County parks. 724-327-7627 or www.acparksfoundation.org

Feb. 4, 10 a.m.: PREP4PITT-1: Trout Island Tromp, Sharpsville. Out and back on rail trail. First race of marathon race series. 724-301-6775 or info@mctrails.org

Feb. 4, 10 a.m.: Winterfest 5k, Moraine State Park. kplant@zoominternet.net or runsignup.com

Feb. 11, 10 a.m.: Community Options Cupid’s Chase 5k, Pittsburgh. Starts near Heinz Field on Northshore Trail. 412-431-7079 or bridget.haney@comop.org

Feb. 12, 10 a.m.: Valentine’s Prediction Run, Erie. Starts at Presque Isle State Park Rotary Pavilion. Erierunners.club

Feb. 12, 10 a.m.: Valentine’s Day Run, Mt. Lebanon. Greater Pittsburgh Road Runners event with choice of 2 miles or 5 miles starting at Mt. Lebanon High School. 412-341-0684

Race results

Gobble Wobble 5k, Nov. 24: Barrett Kemp, 1st Overall M, 15:35; Kendra Pyne, 1st Overall W, 18:38; Kenneth Bickel, 2nd 12-14 M, 20:24; Morgan Siebka, 3rd 20-24 W, 22:50; Jill Takach, 1st 50-54 W, 23:07; Tamagn Unverzagt, 1st 7 & Under M, 28:35; Bereket Unverzagt, 2nd 7 & Under M, 28:55; Tony Sunseri, 3rd 65-69 M, 29:09; Carmine Decarlo, 1st 60-64 W, 34:36; Connor Casteel, 23:01; Matt Rose, 25:13; Nate Nuss, 26:04; Marie Bickel, 26:09; Scott Grooms, 27:59; Leah Buchan, 28:06; Brian Buchan, 28:07; Josiah Unverzagt, 28:24; Casey Unverzagt, 28:35; Emily Unverzagt, 28:56; Nicole Rose, 30:11; Alfred Schnabel, 31:24; Jenna Tarr, 33:17; Jennifer Grooms, 35:13; Marybelle Nesbit, 37:40; Jennifer Bulfone, 37:46; Jenny Day, 38:26; Michael Yates, 39:16; Darienne Yates, 39:16; Justin Yates, 39:16; Alex Day, 39:23; Margy Somora, 41:13; John-Scott Somora, 41:13; Thomas Somora, 41:13; Kate Phillips, 46:00; Mark Schrier, 46:00; Mary Ann King, 51:33; Bridgett Casteel, 54:09; Michelle Brochetti, 54:11; Sammi Bell, 54:36; Chad Williams, 54:36; Beverly Bell, 55:04; John Sestak, 55:18; Noreen Herlihy, 56:14; Mackenzie Stone, 56:16; Reagan Stone, 56:16; Amber Scholl, 56:16; Kory Bouch, 56:17; Laurie Degraaf, 1:01:04

Team Cassie Riverhounds 5k, Dec. 10: Sean Battis, 1st Overall M, 16:52; Jody McCafferty, 1st Overall W, 23:18; Dan Pollock, 1st 60-64 M, 21:26; Mitch Radella, 1st 50-54 M, 21:57; Andrew Smith, 2nd 25-29 M, 22:51; April Mccann, 1st 50-54 W, 29:08; Arthur Boring, 24:33

An Old Fashioned Christmas in Volant 5k, Dec. 17: Chase Waldschmidt, 1st Overall M, 18:46; Mary Beth Acker, 1st Overall W, 20:48; David Fugate, 2nd 55-59 M, 22:22; Dave Suber, 3rd 55-59 M, 24:16; Jinny Hertweck, 2nd 40-44 W, 25:56; Mike Fugate, 3rd 20-29 M, 26:21; Debbie Fugate, 1st 50-54 W, 26:22; Luke Hassler, 2nd 14 & Under M, 26:58; Cindy Suber, 1st 55-59 W, 27:03; Ann Cheman, 1st 65-69 W, 35:53; Ross Hassler, 26:50; William Woods, 29:09; Dezso Csizmadia, 34:19; Ezra Fisher, 39:22; Wade Fisher, 39:22

Erie Runners’ Club New Year’s Day 5-Miler, Jan. 1: Ethan Louis, 1st Overall M, 25:33; Desiree Terella, 1st Overall W, 32:21; Mark Courtney, 1st 60-64 M, 33:23

Send comments and suggestions: Patricia Neubert, 435 Cherry Valley Rd., Saxonburg, PA. 16056. Phone 724-352-4395. E-mail lotzak@consolidated.net.

Pat Neubert is a running columnist for the Butler Eagle.