Dear Sports Santa:

I know you probably get lots and lots of letters each year asking you for all sorts of stuff.

I’m sure there’s a certain guy named Ben R. from Pittsburgh who’s asking you for a new offensive coordinator and a Mark S. from New York who kind of wishes he were anywhere else but in the Big Apple these days, but please make time to read my list.

I’ve been a good sports fan this year. I supported the Pittsburgh Pirates, even though I knew they’d find a way to crumble down the stretch.

And I’ve resisted the urge to swear unrelentingly at the television when Buffalo Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick throws an interception.

I do that because I know every time Fitzpatrick throws a pick, an angel gets its wings. So, I can live with that.

My list, I think, is reasonable. Take a look:

The Buffalo Bills to be good again.

It’s been 13 years since the Bills have been to the playoffs. The last postseason game they played in, they lost to Tennessee in the Music City Miracle game.

It’s also been that long since they had a true franchise quarterback. Please, bring me one. I don’t care who it is. Heck, I’d even take Jay Cutler.

A World Series title for the Cleveland Indians.

I know you are letting out a jolly laugh after reading that, but listen.

Cleveland deserves something good for a change. LeBron James left them. A six-win season for the Browns is considered progress.

All that is left is the Tribe.

Do me this solid and you can let the Indians go another 65 years without a title.

A mercy rule in high school soccer.

I’m sorry, if you are down 8-0 at halftime, you aren’t going to win.

We don’t need to see the final 40 minutes.

Erin Andrews to be a sideline reporter at my next touch football game.

Score!

Tim Tebow to start at quarterback again.

He’s so bad, he’s good.

Tebow is like a dude who juggles flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a thin piece of wood suspended over a pool full of sharks with laser beams on their heads.

He looks unstable doing it and you just wait for something bad to happen.

But that guy never burns himself or gets eaten by sharks. Someone needs to give him another chance, please.

A shot clock in high school basketball.

Several states already have it, but not Pennsylvania. It would spice up the game for sure.

Let NFL players tweet during games.

What do you think Ben Roethlisberger would have tweeted Sunday? Man, it would have been priceless.

The same thing for Sanchez Monday night. It would have been something like, “Four INTs are bad, but, hey, at least I didn’t butt fumble again.”

Peace on Earth.

We all need this these days.

Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.