I’d like to quote famous philosopher Forrest Gump when talking about today’s athletes.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Seriously, high-paid performer at the top of your game, I thought you were smarter than this.

I was wrong.

In this day and age when cameras are as omnipresent as opinions are on Twitter, it’s getting easier and easier for athletes’ bonehead decisions to be captured for all eternity.

It’s become quite the epidemic.

Here’s just a few recent examples:

• Beckett being Beckett.

As if the Boston Red Sox don’t have enough problems with being dead last in the American League East coming off last season’s epic collapse amid beer and chicken in the clubhouse, but pitcher Josh Beckett just had another “Doh!” moment.

After he had already told manager Bobby Valentine that his back was too sore to make his next start and two days before he was originally scheduled to take the hill, Beckett was spotted on the golf course.

Yes, nothing rests the old back like torquing your body to swing a big bertha driver.

Sir, you are no Ferris Bueller.

• Is that a punching bag or a fire extinguisher?

New York Knicks’ Amare Stoudemire cut his hand after his team lost to the Miami Heat in a fit of rage, punching the glass casing that protected a fire extinguisher.

The glass did not protect his hand.

He received more stitches than a baseball and missed pivotal games in the Knicks-Heat series. And for what?

Inanimate objects often have been an outlet for dumb athletes.

More on that later.

• Kickin’ it old school, dude.

Philadelphia Phillies’ pitcher Cole Hamels felt it was his civic duty to do something about that punk Bryce Harper with all that hustle and eye black and weird hair. What a jerk.

So, Hamels, upholding the customs set before him by such baseball luminaries as ... well, he doesn’t know the names, sent a fastball into the small of Harper’s back.

That’ll show him.

Harper got the last laugh, though, by stealing home.

• Souvenirs for everyone!

Chicago Cubs reliever Kerry Wood had a rough outing so he fell back on a time-honored tradition: he tossed his glove and Cubs hat into the crowd.

Maybe he just wanted to get all that nasty cursed Cubs gear off of him.

He could have opted for another time-honored tradition after a poor performance and took a bat to the water cooler, but that’s so 2011.

After all, life is like a box of bonehead athletes: you never know what you’re gonna get.