Now that the Steelers' season has been flushed down the American Standard, thanks to the underlying belief in the locker room that NFL games are only 45 minutes long, it's time to shift our collective attention to more important matters.

Can glitter really solve the world's problems like Lady Gaga said?

No, more important than that.

Global warming?

No, even more important than that.

The seamy details of Tiger Woods' personal life?

Well, nothing is as important as that, but, no.

What will the Pittsburgh Pirates do at the winter meetings?

Bingo.

With the Steelers on life support and the stone-handed members of the secondary getting ready to yank the plug, the only thing sports fans in the 'Burgh can really delve into is how Neal Huntington is going to improve the Buccos this week at the meeting of the baseball minds in Indianapolis.

Believe it or not, Huntington might be busy.

There are holes to fill, after all, and there are plenty of players to sift through in the bargain bin.

It's like the ones at Walmart full of movies like "Gigli" and "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever," only instead of a $5 movie, the container is full of $1 million middle infielders and starting pitchers.

But, hey, after 17 straight losing seasons, what is there to lose by going Dumpster diving?

Sure, the Pirates aren't going to woo the likes of Chone Figgins or Johnny Damon. They aren't going to chase after Matt Holliday. Let's face it, Holliday is the Megan Fox of baseball and the Bucs are Steve Urkel.

Still, there might be enough players out there wearing beer goggles to sign with the Pirates (Julian Tavaras not included).

Here are a few cheap pickups who could help the Pirates get a few wins closer to .500:

•

Justin Duchscherer, pitcher. In 2008, the Oakland A's right-hander posted a 10-8 record and a 2.54 ERA, but missed all of last season with an arm injury.Perfect! His arm is pre-blown out. The Pirates won't have to waste valuable time by blowing it out for him before letting him return to pitch just well enough to lose 14 games.•

Rick Ankiel, outfielder. The converted pitcher turned outfielder has some serious left-handed pop, which is ideal for PNC Park.The bad news is the Pirates will immediately convert him back to a pitcher. (See Van Benschoten, John).•

Bobby Crosby, utility. The former American League Rookie of the Year can play multiple positions.His .223 average and .652 OPS will settle nicely into the No. 5 hole in the lineup.•

Xavier Nady, Kip Wells, Elmer Dessens, Matt Stairs, Doug Mientkiewicz, Josh Fogg, Mike Gonzalez, Brian Giles and Jason Kendall. In a bold move, Huntington brings back these former Pirate "greats" to show the young players how it is done.You can't lose for 17 straight seasons without some veteran leadership, after all.Steelers fans, take heart. A .500 record and playoff hopes in the last month of the season doesn't seem that bad now, does it?Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.