The NFL season has hit the midway point.

You know what that means: midseason awards.

Everyone loves an awards show, except one hosted by Howie Mandel, Jeff Probst, Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron or Heidi Klum.

Those five bombed as the Emmy hosts a few years ago, but they could be serviceable as replacements for the Green Bay Packers' offensive line.

Kanye West is nowhere to be seen, too, so he won't burst on stage to snag the microphone away from Troy Polamalu and say, "Imma let you finish, but Neutrogena is the best dandruff shampoo ever. Just sayin.'"

So relax, get your popcorn ready and enjoy.

In this awards show, there is no red carpet (the players don't have the proper cleats) and no one will ask who Jared Allen is wearing, although someone should based on his get-up at the ESPYs.

Of course, we do know who Aaron Rodgers is wearing: Jared Allen.

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The Human Snooze Button Award. And the nominees are: Terrell Owens, Andy Reid, all 53 members of the Jacksonville Jaguars. And the winner is ... T.O.The Buffalo Bills' franchise is in such a funk, it has made Owens boring.Buffalo is the witness protection program of the NFL.•

Best Quarterback Not Named Manning or Brady Award. And the nominees are: Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger, Brett Favre, Josh Brown. And the winner is ... Roethlisberger.This was a tough category. Brees is the bomb and Favre is playing like he's a youngin' of 35 again. But Big Ben barely beats out Brown, a kicker for the Rams who just might be their best quarterback.His QB rating of 158.3 is perfect, you know.•

Best Actor Playing the Role of a Head Football Coach Award: And the nominees are: Jim Zorn, Raheem Morris, Eric Mangini, Tom Cable. And the winner is ... Less than Mangenius.If you didn't know any better, you would think Mangini is purposefully trying to mess up as much as possible. That takes skill.First, he ignores his star defensive tackle at a gathering. Then he fines a player $1,700 for not paying for a $7 bottle of water at a hotel. Holy inflation!Then he trades away most of the legitimate talent on the roster: Kellen Winslow, Braylon Edwards, so on and so forth, then sticks way too long with quarterback Derek Anderson, who managed to make JaMarcus Russell look like Kurt Russell in the movie "The Best of Times."He should get an Oscar for doing all of that with a straight face.•

Worst Uniforms of the Year Award: Broncos throwbacks, Jets/Titans throwbacks, Seattle's attack on cones and rods florescent yellow jerseys. And the winner is ... Jets/Titans.The N.Y. Jets insist on wearing the old N.Y. Titans uniforms even though the Titans existed for only three seasons.The Jets have worn the throwbacks seven times already. Seven more times and they will wear the unis more than the original Titans.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.