Wives support coaches on field, at home
Behind every successful football coach is a patient woman.
Extremely patient.
"Once camp starts in August, I tell my husband, 'Remember, we're meeting at my family's house for Christmas Eve,'" said Toni McAnallen, wife of Butler High School coach Jeff McAnallen. "It's kind of a running joke."
Wives of coaches do become football widows in the fall, usually settling for a couple of hours at home with their husbands late at night.
Besides that, it's work and football.
"It's a seven-day-a-week thing," Mrs. McAnallen said. "There's school and practice during the week, breaking down film and forming a game plan on weekends.
"It is stressful, but he wants the team to succeed. He truly believes in those kids. As a wife, you love that."
Freeport coach John Gaillot and his wife, Jenie, have three daughters: 6-year-old Jena, 4-year-old Jaden and 2-year-old Jaisa.
"It's like John is helping to raise a bunch of boys on the football team and three girls at home," Mrs. Gaillot said. "Ask him which is tougher and he'll say the three girls.
"My girls know how to tackle, though. They tackle him the minute he walks through the door."
Laura Campbell, wife of Moniteau coach Jeff Campbell, said her husband relishes the moments when his players accept scholarships to play football in college."He knows he played a hand in that and that's motivation for him," Mrs. Campbell said. "Jeff knows he's helping kids get their lives, their acts together."I support him totally in that. I don't know how he does it sometimes, coaching a team on top of his regular job (director of buildings and grounds) at Moniteau. I do know it's his passion of working with kids that drives him."And caring about kids is a trait in men most wives find endearing.Slippery Rock High School coach Glenn Hazlet is a head coach for the first time at age 64. His son is 43 and coaches football at Wilkes College in North Carolina."Glenn is a very good role model," Nancy Hazlet, his wife, said. "He provides leadership to the kids in areas of commitment, ethics, honesty and drive."He's gone from 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. almost every day. I try to have supper ready when he comes home and if it's burnt, he never says a word."
While the wives believe in what their coaching husbands are doing, they are forced to lead unique lives nonetheless. The American Football Coaches Wives Association was formed in 1989 to "provide support not easily understood by those outside of the profession," AFCWA president Beth Boyd said.That organization began with 70 members and has more than 500 today. LaNier Turner-Frazier, wife of Prairie View A&M coach Henry Frazier, is author of "The Football Wives' Playbook: 9 Plays to a Winning Life."Turner-Frazier also is founder of the Football Wives Network, designed to provide recognition and supportive resources and build relationships between football wives on all levels."I've never heard of any of that, but I can see why such organizations would exist," said Shelly King, wife of Knoch football coach Mike King. "It's a different life, that's for sure."
A coach's life affects his wife."Mike was a football coach when we got married, so I knew what I was getting into," Mrs. King said. "When you start having babies, though, you really miss not having your husband around."The Kings have been married for 16 years and have three children: Katie, 15, who's in the band; Kraig, 13, an eighth-grade football player, and Klaudia, 10."My girls are involved in dance while Kraig and Mike do football," Mrs. King said. "Oftentimes, they're walking into the house while we're walking out. We're passing ships."Laura Mihalik, wife of Slippery Rock University coach George Mihalik, is in her 34th season of football with her husband. She had a cow bell made in 1976 and has been bringing it to every game ever since.When her husband takes the field with his team, she clangs the cow bell. He finds her in the stands and gives her a thumbs-up."That's been a tradition of ours for years," Mrs. Mihalik said. "I love the football games on Saturday. That's been a way of life for our family."The rest of the week is just crazy. I don't know if you ever get used to it."
Laura Mihalik teaches second grade in Grove City. When her husband is spending time on the practice field, watching game films or working on game plans, she's working on lesson plans.The Mihaliks have two daughters, Jenny Lee, now married, and Beth, who is attending law school at Notre Dame."My girls were in the stands when they were babies," Mrs. Mihalik said. "Now Beth follows the games on the Internet. It never leaves you."Jenny Lee and Beth Mihalik wore tiny cheerleading uniforms on the track when they were little girls, mimicking the college cheerleaders."No matter how the game turned out that day, George got hugs from the girls afterward," Mrs. Mihalik said. "They didn't care if he won or lost. Their daddy was home."Beth played high school volleyball at Slippery Rock and played collegiately at Washington & Jefferson. Volleyball season, like football, is during the fall."To George's credit, he rarely missed any of her games at W&J," Mrs. Mihalik said. "I'd pick him up at the stadium right after practice and we drove down to Washington."She didn't miss his games. He didn't want to miss hers."Mrs. Mihalik sits in the stands with the wives of SRU assistant football coaches. "We're all very close. We've known each other for years," she said. "George and I are godparents to (defensive coordinator) Shawn and Julie Lutz's son."
While the coaches' wives support each other, they still have to deal with negative and derogatory comments directed at their husbands from people in the stands."That comes with the territory," Mrs. King said. "I'm more concerned for our kids. With my daughter being in the marching band, when we're not doing well, she may have to hear about it.""It can be rough," Mrs. McAnallen admitted. "I have to sit there and act like it doesn't bother me, but it does. There are times I want to turn around and give a piece of my mind."Jeff McAnallen was an assistant coach at North Hills under longtime coach Jack McCurry before taking the Butler job."I learned a lot from Mrs. McCurry," Mrs. McAnallen said. "She was so classy, just sitting in the stands so well-mannered. She only heard what she wanted to hear.""I'm at the point where I don't even notice it," Mrs. Gaillot said of fans' criticism. "I have a thick skin. You'd go nuts otherwise. Not many people get criticized publicly on the job."Jenie Gaillot misses a lot of Freeport road games to stay home with the kids."But I'll text somebody at 8:30 or so because I need to know the score," she confessed. "Thank goodness for technology."The Campbells have two adopted children, ages 10 and 12. Mrs. Campbell said her family has learned how to put criticism of coaches into perspective."After all, we all do it," she said about handing out critical comments. "Watching the Steeler games, we're all guilty of yelling at the TV."
Game days are one thing. Non-game days are another."Football season is all year long," Mrs. Campbell said. "There's the weight room, lifting competitions, football camps. I miss him when he's not home for trick-or-treating or with me at my cousin's wedding."Football-related activities change with the seasons."There's the big push for sign-ups in May, summer lifting, then it gets busier from there," Mrs. King said. "The phone calls at night from recruiters, newspapers, parents, players, school officials ... It never stops. By late November, sanity comes back."Mrs. McAnallen chuckled at the thought of telephone calls. "Our phone is always attached to his ear," she said. "It's like, just give me an hour. ... It's a blow to the ego, but during the season, you have to settle for being No. 2 in a way. Football takes priority."Mrs. Gaillot agreed."It's time-consuming, but you have to support them. It's who they are," she said. "When John walks in the door, the phone starts ringing."When the season is over, he makes up for lost time with the girls. We give at football time, then he gives back."Mrs. Hazlet said she has things she does on her own while her husband is doing football."It affects your social calendar somewhat, but I'm OK with it," she said. "I like to putz around. I do my thing; Glenn does his thing; there's things we do together."But I love to hear stories about the boys. When you love somebody, you want them to be happy. Football makes Glenn happy."
