I am a fan of the Buffalo Bills and the Cleveland Indians.

I am a masochist. I like pain.

Both teams have been on the cusp of success, only to snatch failure from the jaws of victory.

Wide right.

Tony Fernandez error.

Thurman Thomas misplacing his helmet.

Jose Mesa.

And then there were times when they just, well, stink.

Todd Collins, Alex Van Pelt, Rob Johnson, Kelly Holcolm, J.P. Losman, Trent Edwards.

Jack Armstrong, Steve Carlton (the 1987 version who was old and couldn't break a pane of glass with his fastball, not the 1972 version who could break a bat with a mere stare), Efrain and Sergio Valdez, Rich Yett, Fausto Carmona.

Yet, I still am a fan, despite the sometimes overwhelming desire to jump ship.

Why? Because it is the No. 1 law of fandom — it's hard to break allegiances.

There are many such "Fan Laws," and like other laws, there are always exceptions.

Here are a few laws of being a fan:

•

Fan Law No. 1: The longer you are a fan of a team, the harder it is to stop.That's why there are still Oakland Raiders fans.•

Fan Law No. 2: The coach/manager is a genius when things go right and should be fired when things go wrong.Patience among fans is thin when it comes to the dudes running their favorite team. After winning the Super Bowl last season, Steelers fans already were drawing up blueprints for a Mike Tomlin statue outside Heinz Field.After losing to Cincy this year, some fans were actually calling for Tomlin to get fired.•

Fan Law No. 3: Underdogs = good. Favorites = bad.Back when the New England Patriots had this unknown, frail kid from Michigan playing quarterback for them after Drew Bledsoe was injured, many fans were pulling for the Pats to make a playoff run and knock off the big, bad, arrogant St. Louis Rams in the Super Bowl.Then the Pats got good — really good. Brady went from frail underdog to cocky and everyone began hating the Patriots.•

Fan Law No. 4: Quarterback controversies are cool.The only thing fans love more than a franchise quarterback is his backup.Some Bills fans (I'm not one of them) were clamoring for Frank Reich to start ahead of Jim Kelly. And, yes, Steelers fans were pulling for Mark Malone to start ahead of Terry Bradshaw.There are exceptions. No one in Indy is screaming for Jim Sorgi to start ahead of that Peyton Manning guy. But it is the truth: fans love a good QB controversy.•

Fan Law No. 5: The fan is ALWAYS right.The coach didn't go for it on fourth-and-1? The fan would have, and would have gotten the first down, darn it!The manager pulled the pitcher who was tossing a shutout with two outs in the top of the ninth? The fan wouldn't have — and would have been right.Fans are geniuses all the time. Every decision they make is the right one.I call that the armchair fallacy.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.