Here in the 'Burgh, we are all too familiar with trade rumors.

It seems every year, when the weather warms and the Pirates cool, we hear the names of our beloved Buccos spit out of the rumor mill like sawdust.

I think Jack Wilson belongs in the Rumor Mill Hall of Fame. He has been involved in about 185,234 trades that have never happened. Wilson has been slated to be swapped to every team in the Northern Hemisphere, including the Springfield Isotopes.

Doh!

Yet, Wilson is still a Pirate. He might get traded this year. He might not. If he was at a Slippery Rock Sliders game, he could be exchanged for a hot dog.

The Internet has added to the speculation. There are entire Web sites dedicated to MLB trade rumors.

The Gossip Girls have nothing on Buster Olney.

Anyone can be traded at any time. Nate McLouth to the Atlanta Braves last month is Exhibit A. That trade made many a fan unhappy (and most of them had invested in a No. 13 Nate McLouth jersey.)

This season is no different. Here are some of the more popular trade rumors I have dug up:

n Jack Wilson to the Boston Red Sox for a low-level minor leaguer or a mid-level minor leaguer and $8 million or a dozen lobsters.

It's a tough choice. At this point, I think the Pirates would take six lobsters for Wilson.

• Mark DeRosa to

everyone for a young pitcher or a bullpen arm that isn't flammable.DeRosa is the Cleveland Indians' biggest trade chip. The dude can play anywhere. In fact, the Indians should just hang on to him and put him in the bullpen. He can't do any worse than the gas-can carrying relievers that have flushed this season down the American Standard.• Matt Holliday to the Los Angeles Angels for three prospects or $50 million to save the "Moneyball" movie.People who own Holliday in their fantasy baseball leagues (I'm among the disgruntled ones), will welcome any trade that sends Holliday to a park that doesn't gobble up home runs like Manny Ramirez gobbles up PEDs and shame.• Brad Penny to the Philadelphia Phillies for a shortstop prospect and whatever spirit took possession of Raul Ibanez's body.• The entire Washington Nationals roster to anyone who will take them.There are sellers this time of year and then there are

sellers. The Nats are getting set to have the world's biggest yard sale.Over here you have the prize of the trinkets, Nick Johnson. Handle with care, though. He is extremely fragile and breaks easily.Then you have the pile of junk that is only appealing because it has 25-cent stickers on it: stiffs like Austin Kearns, Joe Beimel, Ron Villone, Mike MacDougal and, yes, Julian Tavarez.Pirates fans take note: the Bucs will move some players. My advice: Don't run out and buy any Adam LaRoche, John Grabow or Freddy Sanchez jerseys.And let the Wilson Watch begin.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.