To date, I've been hit with a pillow, invited to join the "fans of Butterfinger," kicked 60 yards across the Internet, been exposed to 25 useless facts about people I don't really remember and made aware of the fact that my old college roommate drank too much last night.

Thanks Facebook.

With all due respect, it's time for me to jump off of this information superhighway because, to be quite frank, this highway is filled with more potholes, deadends and travel-at-your-own-risk signs than a daily jaunt through any PennDOT-lined street.

And truthfully I just don't get it.

Maybe I'm not hip (simply using the term "hip" probably is an indicator that I'm correct) and maybe I really am totally out of it, but do I really need to know that the kid I used to sit next to in ninth grade algebra likes to eat creamed-corn and hash?

It's a colossal waste of time being driven by a colossal waste of talent — Internet developers and computer programmers.

Some call it "social networking," and for others it's simply an escape from reality. But the last time I checked we were facing 9 percent unemployment, GM was in bankruptcy, the housing bubble(s) were bursting faster than egos on Wall Street and we were in a heap of doo-doo.

Does it really make sense to post your feelings online instead of spending that same time confiding in a close friend, relative, clergy member or other trusted confidant? That's what friends and family are for!

Perhaps that's my greatest fear about the whole Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc. phenomenon. The sites are dedicated to building social networks online, but at the same time, the human element is being removed from the network. You can't read body language, hear an obvious sarcastic remark or see someone smile when you tell them something warm or nice.

Communication is changing, and I'm afraid it's not for the better.

I admit that I blog from time to time and I'll even return a text or two, but maybe I'm getting too old, or perhaps reality is setting in.

The fact of the matter is that I'm not egotistical enough to think anyone really cares that I have to water the plants, take the kids to the bus stop, make pancakes, return 17 e-mails, write an article for the paper and study for some tests.

And if I really am that busy, do I have time to TELL everyone about it on the site, in addition to naming my five celebrity crushes?

The end point came for me when I received a request to view someone's "25 things you didn't know about me." With all due respect, there's a reason I didn't stay connected with this person for the past two decades and there's not really anything I want to know about this person after all those years.

I still stay "connected" through Facebook and I add friends. In fact, I add anyone who asks me to. It's easier than fighting it. The problem they face is that I'm a terrible Internet friend since I don't respond to chain e-mails, participate in fake pillow fights, throw fake Internet snowballs, wave a fake terrible towel, keep the Steelers wave going or vote on my five favorite songs of all time.

No. Instead, I've opted to allow folks to learn those things about me the old fashioned way, like phone calls, time spent over dinner or cooking on the grill while the kids play on the swings or walking the golf course from time to time.

You see, Facebook is just that — a face only. I am egotistical enough to think there's more to me than just my face and a list of favorites or least favorites.

I urge each of you to drop me a letter (or even an e-mail) and ask me some things. We can talk over an iced tea and get to know each other the old-fashioned way; oh, and don't bring your laptop computer or cell phone to lunch. I want to talk to you without distractions.

Christian Ola, a community columnist for the Butler Eagle, resides in Mars with his wife, son and daughter and can be reached at christianolac@aol.com and through his Web site, www.christianola.com.