Pitchers, meet the new Yankees Stadium: your worst nightmare.

Left-handed hitters are salivating at the prospect of taking hacks at the new yard.

Baseballs rocket over the right field wall like wieners launched out of one of those hot dog shooters.

In six games at the House Your Softball Beer League Built, there have been 28 home runs hit, most to right field.

The Cleveland Indians hit six there in a 22-4 win Saturday.

Juan Pierre could hit 20 home runs if he played 81 games there. Ichiro could hit 40. Heck, I could hit one.

The designers of the new park kept the dimensions the same as the old Yankees Stadium, but they didn’t take into account the change of location — it’s siutated across the street from the old stadium with home plate facing a different direction.

So, to recap, the Yankees spent $1 billion on a new stadium and $243 million on two pitchers for what? To become the Colorado Rockies of the East Coast? To play a bunch of 12-10 games this summer?

Cool deal. Somewhere Babe Ruth is turning over in his grave — or trying to crawl out of it so he can grab a bat and smack 90 home runs this season.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer franchise.

And, by the way, PNC Park is still the best place to watch a baseball game in the majors, although Yankees Stadium may be the best to catch a home run souvenir. Fans sitting in right field spent $300 for their seats; They may as well get a baseball, too.