Wholly Family
Three men, all in various stages of service to the church, share at least one thing besides their faith: growing up with sisters.
Coincidentally, all three also have a connection to St. Paul Roman Catholic Church in Butler. The Rev. Steven Neff is parochial vicar there. Dan Langa and Eric Campbell are former parishioners who are in the process of becoming priests. Dan is to be ordained in June, while Eric is in his third year at the seminary.
How growing up with just sisters has affected their vocation is difficult to quantify. Stories help fill in the picture.
Before Fr. Steve became a priest as well as afterward, his family's support has been an integral part of life."To me, it just shows what the church believes, what our bishop says, 'The home is the first seminary,'" he said.Fr. Steve's path to the priesthood was a bit longer than some. After high school, he went to technical school and worked for years in computer-aided design at an architectural firm in Butler. He entered the seminary at age 30."I think I knew as a little boy I was going to be a priest," said Fr. Steve, now 42."Grandma Neff would always say I was going to be a priest. She didn't get to see me become a priest, but I believe she kept praying. I think even after she died she kept praying and pulling strings."The Neff household in Chicora included young Steve, his older sister, Toni, and younger sister, Rebecca, along with their parents, Tony and Roberta."Growing up we always did everything as a family," said Rebecca. "We're very close-knit. We were never afraid to talk about anything."With two sisters, Fr. Steve said he sometimes had to be reminded not to be too rough-and-tumble with them."I had a lot of cousins growing up, most of them are boys. We were rough and tough. I remember I broke my foot once. With my sisters, I was there to protect them. ... They could come to me as a brother to talk."
"By having just sisters, it definitely didn't make him feminine," said Rebecca. "But it definitely opened the situation up for him to be a good listener and be a helper."He had the benefit of being a little brother and a big brother — guiding me along, helping me along," she said."Being in that situation, I think helped him to the place where he is today."Like many Catholic kids, Fr. Steve and his siblings playacted church services at home. It's easy to guess who played the priest.Dan Langa, 26, set to be ordained in June. He remembers playing church, too, with his older sister, Jennifer, when they were kids. She remembers it as well."I was always playing school and he was always playing church," said 29-year-old Jennifer Chottiner of Pittsburgh, now married and working as a third grade teacher in Fox Chapel.The same thought occurred to her when Dan was giving his first sermon at their home parish of St. Paul. Jennifer was there and mentioned something about Dan's chasuble, the outer priest's garment."She remembered we used to make up an outfit to play Mass, so we got a little sentimental," Dan said. "I thought it was neat she remembered.""It was just the two of us so we've always been very close," said Jennifer. "Even though on our dad's side Dan is the only boy, I remember making signs like girls like to do that say, 'No boys allowed!' — which I think is funny because Dan was the only one around."Dan said, his mom and dad, Julie and David of Butler, never worried about the family name not being carried on."My parents were totally OK with that," Dan said.Fr. Steve said his parents also supported his decision even though it means he won't perpetuate the family name."When I was applying it took months to go through the process," he said of the lengthy evaluation. "My parents were there. They walked with me, encouraging me the whole way."At the time, his parents were the only ones he told about considering a religious vocation."But I think Toni and Rebecca knew," Fr. Steve said."When he finally did call us all together to tell us he was joining the priesthood, I wasn't surprised," Rebecca said. "I knew he wasn't happy with what he was doing in his life."
The Campbell kids from Butler — Sarah, Michele and Eric — said they didn't really talk about Eric joining the priesthood while growing up in the Catholic faith, "but we weren't surprised when Eric told us," said Sarah Campbell-Walowen, 25, of her little brother."Eric was always really sweet and compassionate."His sister, Michele, said what helped with the decision was that their parents, Merle and Jody, encouraged the kids to find their own paths in life."It was always a choice — that we could equally go into religious life or get married or be single — and religion always played a big part in our lives," she said.The brother/sister team of Eric, 21, and Michele, 23, tag-teamed each other in starting the E-Team evangelical youth group at St. Paul, the culmination being a trip to World Youth Day in Australia in 2008.Fr. Steve said his sisters' support really came into play as he studied to become a priest."I was so homesick at times when I was at the seminary. It was my first time away from Butler for a long time," he recalled."They made sure I kept in touch."When he had struggling moments while at St. Paul Seminary in Pittsburgh, Rebecca and her husband, Gerald Zedreck, would make an impromptu visit."They were there for emotional type support. I don't know if guys give each other that so much," remembered Fr. Steve."I got cookies and notes. They wanted to help me answer the call, so they nurtured it."Some of the support was not for eating or reading, but for listening."The thing in the spring I always loved in Butler were the peepers," he said of the region's singing frogs."Toni taped 30 minutes of them and sent it to me."Fr. Steve said support also arrived in person."Rebecca and her husband didn't mind traveling so much so they would come out to St. Vincent for breakfast when I was there. They both have Harleys," he said."Toni and her husband would come down to St. Alexis, my first parish, and our parents don't like to drive that far so they would bring them. That was a way they continued to support me."
Nine months after Fr. Steve's ordination, a sudden tragedy interrupted their bonds. His older sister died of a massive heart attack at age 40."It was hard when Toni died. That was such a blow to all of us," Fr. Steve said. "I think it's brought Rebecca and me even closer, but I think Toni's still pulling for me. I really feel the support between the three of us continues today. It really shows us how important family is.""Important" is also the word Dan used to describe family ties."It's so important to maintain a strong relationship with your family, even though you'll be responsible for a larger parish family," said Dan, who is in the middle of a yearlong assignment at Our Lady of Fatima in Hopewell Township, Beaver County."I miss them for sure when we can't get together; we make the adjustment," he said."With me consistently being at Fatima every weekend, my parents try to come down there to Mass. When they came down there at Christmas, that was the best gift."I look forward to hosting them one year at the rectory — wherever I will be — for Thanksgiving or Christmas and have dinner at the rectory and then go over to Mass," Dan said. "We've already talked about that. I think it would be a great thing."Since Dan's sister was married in 2006, they haven't been able to visit as much."She was always very supportive from the beginning. I am so grateful for that," he said.Being assigned in Butler has made it easier for Fr. Steve's family to spend time with him, especially Toni's daughter, 9-year-old Emily.She and her dad belong to St. Wendelin Roman Catholic Church, sister parish to St. Paul. The Rev. Harry Bielewicz, pastor, and Fr. Steve share duties at the two parishes.When she found out her uncle was going to be assigned to her parish, Emily at first said, 'You're kidding; you're being funny."
Then she said, "Now you can help me with my first communion because mommy's not there," Fr. Steve recalled.Now Emily is stepping into a supportive role, said Rebecca. "She says and does things helping him on his path. And he's helping and guiding her. He's being the uncle but he's being the big brother, too."In addition to their family bonds, Rebecca said she and her brother share interests in math, NASCAR and rodeos."I know, you don't think of a priest with those interests, but they are human," she said.They both like Frank Lloyd Wright architecture and have visited Fallingwater and Kentuck Knob, not far from Rebecca's house in Acme, where Fr. Steve has his own room."Nowadays his work is so consuming, he usually only gets one day off, but if he gets a couple days, he'll come down here," she said."Anyone who comes to visit can use (the room) but it's mostly for him. He keeps basic necessities here, some clothes."Though his home parishes may change, "I'll always have a place there; she recognizes that need," Fr. Steve said."We girls were always supportive of him," said Rebecca." And that's because of the family we come from.""It may seem like you're losing a brother at first," said Michele Campbell."His future will be decided by the bishop, his family is going to be the congregation."But our relationship as a family has grown incredibly stronger. We are very blessed."
