I've attended nearly 1,000 high school basketball games in my journalism career.

That means I have heard the signature fan heckle: "Call it both ways!" roughly 5,456 times.

You'd think after all this time fans would be more creative with their verbal insults of the men and women in stripes.

I think it took only 10 minutes after basketball was invented in 1891 for a fan to yell: "Do you need new spectacles? That's a foul!"

Surely in the last 118 years, someone could have thought of something more original.

There are lots of timeouts to ponder new barbs.

The time between halves is 10 minutes — long enough to get a hot dog and to whip up a new derogatory comment.

These officials deserve more.

Why not something like:

n "Hey, did your Lasik eye surgery not take?"

n "Are all the players on the other team your friends on Facebook?"

n "That's not a travel! That's the LeBron James crab dribble, dummy."

I call screaming at strangers on the basketball court "Hoops Rage," similar to the phenomena of "Road Rage" that makes us believe it is acceptable to yell and scream at other drivers who cut us off on Main Street.

It's as if the separation of the stands and the court shuts off the part of our brain that controls irrational outbursts.

These fuming fans should try walking in the officials' black shoes.

Calling a basketball game has to be the toughest job in high school athletics.

In this area, where teams are physical and defenses aggressive, the job is even more taxing.

Think about it: Almost 100 percent of the calls a basketball official must make are judgment calls.

And unless Lt. Commander Data gives up his job inStar Fleet and decides to ref the next Butler-Seneca Valley boys basketball game, some of those calls are going to be wrong.

It's not because the official is biased, blind or ignorant of the rules; it's just the nature of the beast.

It's no wonder that fewer and fewer people are becoming officials.

Over the years, I have noticed the age of basketball refs going up.

Can you blame people for wanting to stay far, far away from the whistle?

Here's the current job description:

Run the equivalent of 2 miles on a given night, make about 50 split- second calls that have to be correct every time, take verbal abuse from the fans and all for little pay.

Where do I sign up? While you are at it, give me an application for javelin catcher.

This isn't anything new, though. As long as there have been organized sports with officials, fans have found the need to berate them.

At least do it with something like:

"Hey, ref. Is your cell phone ring tone the other team's fight song?"

Please. My ears will thank you — even if the refs won't.

Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.