There are only a few things that drive me crazy. I mean really crazy. One such thing is something everyone has: voice mail.

Here in our house, we've decided to have some fun with the answering machine by letting my son tell callers we're unavailable to take their call and to leave a number so we can call them back. On my cell phone, I've decided to lighten things up a little bit by having some Jimmy Buffett music play for a caller's listening pleasure. Sorry if you don't like Buffet, by the way.

The kicker, however, is when a voice-mail message plays and gives the standard response "I can't take your call right now, but leave your name and number and I'll call you back."

Yeah, right.

When did we become so formal?

Maybe it was a direct spin-off from the business world, where voice mail originated as a way to let customers know their call was important.

But the reality of the situation is that frankly, with a few minor exceptions, no one's call is that important. The exceptions are easy:

1. Very pregnant wife

2. Mario Lemieux calling to inform you he has tickets for you.

That's really about it.

So why don't we all decide to have some fun and put a message that really tells a caller how we feel and what we're really thinking?

For instance, my message would say something like "I don't want to talk to you because I'm probably busy pushing the kids on the swings, watching the Pens game or writing an article and I'm on a deadline. I might call you back, but I probably won't do it this week. So if this is an emergency, call someone else."

I'll bet there wouldn't be too many messages to contend with.

Truthfully, I'd feel a lot better if I called a business and got a message telling me the truth, rather than the standard "Your call is important to us. Please hold, and we'll get to your call in (mechanical voice) 18 minutes."

Maybe something like "We're all taking a break right now, and let's face it. It's four o'clock on a Friday. Do you really think we're going to call you back today? Leave a number and we will try to get a hold of you next week sometime."

At least then I could leave a message and not wait around for a return call.

Of course, not answering your phone and letting a call go to voice mail creates issues as well.

If it's your home voice mail, the calls will pile up like Main Street traffic after crossing the bridge coming into Butler. That means after checking the message, you either have to return the call immediately or save the message and call back later. I prefer calling later.

As a result, I have a new task in my weekly routine that involves listening to all of the old messages and either deleting them or keeping them, since 24 or 25 messages pile up. Neither is a good choice, so I'm contemplating the unthinkable: going voice mailless.

Imagine that! Calling someone and not getting a message. In fact, the more I think about it, that's the direction I'm headed.

Let me know your thoughts about my idea by giving me a call. If I don't pick up, you won't get my voice mail, and I probably won't return your call.