The unofficial midseason point has arrived in the NFL and pretty much everything we thought we knew in August has flown out the door faster thanex-Steelers punter Mitch Berger and his bum hamstring.

Midseason means reassessment. Seattle? Bad. Tennessee? Good. Derek Anderson? Bad. Kyle Orton? Good.

It also means handing out midseason awards, but not those boring ones like MVP or Rookie of the Year. Who gives a flying Sage Rosenfels about that in November?

These are the truly honorable:

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Best Neck Beard — Hands down, this honor goes to the Bears' Kyle Orton, although "Wrecks" Grossman is trying to tap into the power of the neck beard by growing his own upside down Chia Pet on his face.•

Most Boring Undefeated Team — This one is pretty easy to figure out since there is only one undefeated team, but the Tennessee Titans are setting football back 50 years.I have been reduced to watching highlights of Titans games to battle insomnia. Forget Ambien. Take some Titans.But it is a style that works: play good defense, run the ball, punt 10 times a game and win.Where's my blankie?•

Most Likely to Star in the Next "Police Academy" Movie —

Arizona running back Tim Hightower. He can play the son of Moses Hightower (played by former NFL great Bubba Smith).He also can star in "The Best of Times II" as Reno Hightower's son.•

Most Likely to End the Season in a Body Cast — Ben Roethlisberger. Part of the problem is Big Ben holds the ball too long. Another part of the problem is his offensive line is like swinging saloon doors.Put them together and you get one black and blue black and gold QB.•

Most Dysfunctional Team — Oakland Raiders. This one was a tight race. There were plenty of worthy candidates.There's Detroit, which signed Daunte Culpepper and named him the starter before the ink on his new contract dried.There's Dallas, which may just put T.O. at quarterback so he gets the ball EVERY play.But Al Davis and his crypt keeper look that puts the Raiders over the top.Davis fired his coach and now he is going to cut just about every player on his roster.•

Least Likely to Change His Name to "Ocho Ocho" — Marvin Harrison. Has this guy said two words since he's been in the league?•

Worst Kicker — Martin Gramatica. The former Saints kicker was jettisoned early in the season. Gramatica was still automatica — automatically missing clutch kicks.At least he didn't have anything to celebrate, exposing him to an embarrassing ACL injury like his brother, Bill.•

Longest name — BenJarvus Green-Ellis. There have been players with three names before, like London Fletcher-Baker and my personal favorite, Tully Banta-Cain, but four names? Man, that is just plain greedy.Leave some names for the rest of us, buddy.