Dads go the distance
Father's Day will mark a special time for Taylor Titley and her dad. Both will receive gifts and cards, since Taylor is turning 14 on Sunday. But this year the focus is largely on David, recently home from Iraq.
"Ihad my ups and downs, but I made it through," said Taylor, who transitioned from private to public school during her father's absence.
"It was really hard, because my friends didn't understand what I was going through."
Since the Butler soldier's return, his 4-year-old daughter Hannah rarely leaves his side — along with her brother Jared.
"It was sad when he was gone," said Jared, 9.
"When he came home it was exciting. I was happy. ... So he could come to my baseball games."
Titley said although he missed various similar events including dance recitals for Taylor and Hannah, the children were never far from his thoughts.
Like other fathers away from home, his duties as a parent persisted.
"I think the most important title I have is Dad," said Titley, a state policeman as well as a captain in the Army Reserves."I'm glad to serve, but that was the one sacrifice I had. I couldn't be at the Cub Scouts and the dance concerts and the spring concerts and the Christmas concerts — the things I usually complain about but go anyway."Although Titley's wife Christine juggled those events while managing the household, the family relied on friends and coworkers who offered extra support."It's like you give the owner's cards to other people," Titley said. "(Saying) 'Basically I'm lending you my kids for a year. ... Just try to get them to maintain — just survive for the year.'"Jared said he took comfort in his father's coworkers, who included him in family activities among their own sons.The Titleys also point to the Butler Catholic School community, sensitive to what the children were feeling."They were second to none in watching over my kids while I was gone," said Titley."They even changed their verbiage: Instead of saying 'your mom or dad,' they would say 'your family. Your family can come.'"His wife, of course, carried much of the load — even arguing with an opposing baseball coach who accused Jared of using an illegal bat."She said, 'I had to get into a fight because you weren't there,'" Titley said. "I said, 'I appreciate that honey.'"My wife had to be both Mom and Dad, and this year I was going to get her a Father's Day present. ... She did a phenomenal job.""I definitely matured as a parent," he added."To not let the little things bother me as much, because nothing is that important. I realized that what's important is the kids. I was always a family guy to begin with. More so now than anything."
Like Titley, John "Jack" Damico is a captain in the Army Reserves.Deployed to Afghanistan in December, the Karns City High School teacher left here his wife Terra and their 11-month-old son Nicholas, who was just 2 months old when Damico began his training in Kansas.To help ensure some level of connection, the Washington Township couple rely on technology."I use the Internet and the Skype software to communicate with Nicholas," Damico said recently over e-mail."Skype allows him to hear my voice and also see my face. It has been really nice to see him and the different stages he has gone through in his first year."Through the medium of video, Damico has been able to keep up with the frequent developments in his son's early life."My wife takes video of Nicholas and sends them to me to view. This has been very special to me, and I am always excited to get a new video. A while back he learned to wave, so we exchange waves often when we talk."Even so, little Nicholas has wanted more close contact."The last couple of months, when I come up on the screen, he immediately reaches for the screen. This reaction has been a little tough on me," Damico said.As well as ongoing video updates, Terra has taken more than 1,500 photos with her digital camera — also sending professional portraits of Nicholas every month.A work e-mail address helps Damico stay connected to Karns City students.
Occasional calls on a satellite phone also help at home, Terra said, speculating about World War II wives who lost contact for extended periods."Definitely, (technology) made it much easier, knowing they're OK," she said. "We were very non-technical before the baby. ... We didn't have a digital camera. ... Boom: Now we have Internet, a video camera, Web cams. Now we know how to use everything."And she uses the electronics to capture everything from big to little events for her husband."Today, I had gotten Nicholas a little swimming pool. This was the first day we got to use it. We got out the video camera. It's sad, but still (because of the video camera) he's always here with us."Approaching their 14th wedding anniversary, the Damicos said they feel especially fortune after waiting so long to become parents."We found out in April that he was going to be deployed —so that was a little bit of a blessing. We had a good chunk of time to get things in order, to process what was happening," Terra said."We did infant massage when Nick was three weeks, and Jack was the only daddy that was there, the poor guy in this room full of women. He's been a good dad from the very get-go."Damico's upcoming two-week leave will coincide with his son's first birthday, she said.
When Doug Mercier leaves the office, technology is far from his mind.A vice president of a safety company, the Adams Township dad has traveled extensively around the globe.At one point his wife Chamaine said the family relocated to France to spend more time together, but for a brief time her husband commuted between continents, spending three to four weeks overseas and alternate weeks at home."When he travels he tries to come home by Friday," she said, explaining her husband coaches Upward Basketball Ministry teams for 10-year-old Brandon and 7-year-old Zachary."During certain seasons, he's always home on Fridays to coach. Saturday is always the game. If he's in Europe, he'll come home for the weekend, then go back."Also factored into the mix are Makayla, 14, and Isabelle, 4, who connect with their father in different ways."When he's traveling, he normally calls to see how our day went," Makayla said."He's away a lot, so he misses some events that we wish he was at. He makes up for it. Sometimes we go to the Y to play basketball. We go swimming at the pool. ... When we go on vacations we go to the beach. ... He takes you out snorkeling."Chamaine said her husband's schedule succeeds because he sets clear boundaries with work, offering full attention at home. Time management also is key."I don't go out to lunch like a lot of people do," Mercier said."I get to work 30 minutes earlier than most, leave probably an hour later than most at work. That 2.5 hours of extra time I'm working, I know that when I get home I'm not working.
"Tomorrow my job will be there. There's always plenty to do, but its important to realize if you don't set those boundaries you could work 24 hours and never be finished."Mercier said nothing is more important to him than his family."Family comes first; it's not worth sacrificing the family."The Merciers say vacations also play a role, offering a focus on togetherness."I think that's a really big part of our life. ... It kind of cements us for the year," Chamaine said."We often will take a cruise, simply because there's no way for (the office) to reach him. We do purposely go somewhere where he can't be interrupted."While on the road, which lately averages one international trip per quarter, Mercier keeps track of time zones, calling or texting when his children are available."Every single day he'll call," Chamaine said."He may text to find out how a test went or how something went. He does stay connected every day. It doesn't matter what country he's in.""The world is a very busy place," Mercier added."As fathers, we have a huge responsibility. We are responsible for spiritual leadership, providing financially, counseling and being a positive role model in our children's lives."Investing the time earlier in their lives will pay off in a big way later in their lives," he said. "I believe that this investment in my family will help them to develop their character and to live a life of strong moral values and integrity — so that they can pass this down to their children."I think that it only takes a few people to create change, and I hope to be one of them."
