Set aside a spot in Cooperstown. Jay Bruce is coming.

Kimbo Slice is the greatest thing since, well, Kimbo sliced bread.

Game 5 of the Stanley Cup playoffs was the greatest game ever played on frozen water on this planet or any other in the universe (except, perhaps for Game 4 of the Jupiter Cup playoffs on the surface of Europa.)

Yes. We here in Mediaville have the penchant for hyperbole. Everyone is the next greatest thing. Every game is the greatest ever.

Sometimes we lose perspective.

We like hype. Hype is our favorite four-letter word, just ahead of Kobe and Joba.

We'll write about someone or something until you go cross-eyed. We'll talk about someone or something until your ears bleed.

That's just who we are. Live with it.

But you like it. Admit it. You gobble it up like Kimbo Slice gobbles up cheeseburgers.

You Pittsburgh Penguins fans out there can't get enough of the hype.

Game 6 was Wednesday and you would think the balance of world power hinged on the outcome.

Even Barry Melrose, who might be the only qualified hockey analyst alive today, went overboard in talking about the significance of Game 6.

To hear him and others talk, the End of Days would come if Detroit choked away the Stanley Cup to the Pens.

Sure, the Red Wings were 34 seconds away from hoisting the Cup Monday night. Fans roaming the streets of the Motor City already had their hands under the bumpers of a few Ford Explorers getting ready to turn them over in riotous celebration.

But before Game 6, there was no earthquake, no famine, no pestilence. A Pirates starting pitcher didn't go seven innings. No signs of the Apocalypse here.

But we here in Mediaville live for the Apocalypse.

Did you see Joba Chamberlain's first start? Now that had famine and pestilence written all over it.

Today, Chamberlain is a bum, a guy who will never pan out. Of course, I'm still not quite sure that Tiger Woods dude is going to make it on the PGA Tour. But that's just me. I'm cynical.

In Mediaville, you can be cynical, though. It's OK.

You also have a license to make wild, outrageous statements that come out of left field. The best part is people believe you know what you are talking about.

Tony Kornheiser has made a career out of that.

Here, I'll show you:

• Sidney Crosby has the finest playoff neck beard ever grown.

• My fantasy baseball team is the biggest collection of talentless hacks in the history of fantasy sports.

• The Celtics-Lakers series will be the greatest NBA Finals since the Spurs-Cavs.

• Danica Patrick can beat up Kimbo Slice.

• Butler will be in line to get the 2100 Summer Olympic Games.

• This is the greatest sports column ever written.