Tired of paying through the nose for gas? Me too, which is what makes this story so darn enjoyable.

Apparently Andrew Dahl, a 13-year-old from Blaine, Wash., found better things to do with his proboscis during allergy season. It seems that Mr. Dahl blew up 213 balloons in an hour through his nose.

Having done my fair share of blowing up balloons for parties it’s tough enough to get those colorful balls of happiness inflated with my lips, let alone my nasal passages.

Andrew’s mom kept score while his father meticulously measured each rubbery treat. Apparently the folks at Guinness Book of World Records have guidelines for feats such as these, and they can be (pardon the pun) picky.

The balloons had to be at least 7.9 inches in diameter and Dahl had to tie them himself in order to have the count “official.” I’m not sure anyone would volunteer to tie them anyway since they were temporarily parked in a nostril.

Being the investigative journalist I am, there are several questions that come to mind.

First, and foremost, is what would entice someone to try and blow anything up using their nose? Not to be snotty (pun intended this time) about it or anything, but didn’t God give us lips for this process? That’s why the Big Bad Wolf huffed and puffed before blowing down houses instead of simply sneezing. Our nose is meant to smell.

Next, and perhaps equally as important, is who actually sets the guidelines at Guinness Book of World Records to know that the official size requirement should be 7.9 inches in diameter and that the ‘inflater’ had to tie each balloon themselves?

Finally, how would anyone know that they actually had this talent, and who would spend time trying to see if they could break a record? Heck, how do you even know that a record like that existed?

Andrew Dahl did, of course. This skill came from years of playing the trumpet, although no one ‘nose’ how long he has taken lessons.

He’s been blowing balloons up through his nose, though, since he was 7 – the result of a picnic stunt gone awry.

Having been to my fair share of picnics, too, I can honestly tell you that I’ve never witnessed anyone blowing balloons up with their nose. I did, however, witness a watermelon seed nose blowing contest. At that same picnic a cousin drank Pepsi through her nose, but there were other adult beverages running through her system prior to attempting the stunt.

Finally, how do you top something of this magnitude, and will the feat get him into a better college? I would guess that if he wanted to become an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor he could boogie over to any college in the country. It’s kind of like a juvenile delinquent becoming a police officer; experience counts!

Like most things in my life, this story takes an ironic twist. A few days ago I found my son stuffing pretzels into his mouth faster than you can pop a balloon.

“How many are in there?” I questioned.

“Rmmphhplttt,” he responded.

Like any proud father, instead of belittling him I ran to the computer to find the Guinness Book of World Records. I’m sure that he has a record inside that mouth!