"Please, Mr. Torre, step this way. I understand you're looking for a job."

"Please, call me Joe. And yes, that is correct."

"It says here you spent the past 12 years as manager of the New York Yankees baseball club. What happened?"

"Well, I won four World Series titles in my first five years. Apparently, I set the bar too high. My boss, as you might expect, is a hard man to please. Mr. Steinbrenner hadn't won a World Series title since 1978 and hadn't been in one since 1981.

"So, they hire me for the start of the 1996 season. Boom! Five years, four championships. He was probably livid we didn't win that fifth one, but the Cleveland Indians were a tough team in 1997.

"Anyhow, in 2001 and 2003 we made it back to the Series and lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks (Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson!) and Florida Marlins, but haven't been back since.

"I know, I have a payroll of about $200 million, but it's harder than you think to have 25 players come together. I mean, there's chemistry, injuries, too many veterans, things like that to deal with.

"This year, I thought was my best year ever as manager. On May 29, we were eight games below. 500 (21-29) and 13Z\x games out.

"On June 4, we were 24-31 before we won nine in a row to improve to 33-31. At the All-Star break we were 42-43, but I felt optimistic about making the playoffs.

"We went 52-25 in the second half and were just 1Z\x games out of first place with two weeks to go. We took the wild-card spot, but lost to the Cleveland Indians in four games. Our season was over.

"Oddly enough, after we fell down two-games to none, Mr. Steinbrenner was quoted as saying if the team didn't win the first-round series, I basically would be out of a job.

"So, to recap, 12 seasons, 12 playoff appearances, 11 American League East titles, six World Series appearances, four World Series titles. 1,173-766 record. 653 winning percentage.

"Now, one week later, I'm still twisting in the wind, wondering if I'm still employed by the Yankees. I've got reporters on my lawn, waiting for comments.

"I don't know if I'm still the manager, but I'm a little fed up. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I'll beat Mr. Steinbrenner to the punch. And when he decides after listening to public opinion and offers me my job back, I'll pass and tell him I've moved on.

"I'll show him. For years, I've taken the verbal abuse and every year we reached the playoffs. It's not easy. Baseball takes the fewest amount of teams to the playoffs. Eight. Basketball and hockey take 16, the NFL takes 12.

"So, there's a big meeting in Tampa, Florida beginning today about my future. I didn't get an invitation, and I didn't want to sit at home. So I came here. That about sums it up."

"Well, Mr. Torre, I can tell you we here at the Pittsburgh Pirates pride ourselves on winning baseball and we'll be in touch."

"I really can't believe I'm here. I can't believe how desperate I've become — no offense."

"None taken, Mr. Torre. To be honest, if you can bring us a. 500 season, you will be king! Heck, a few more wins and you might even win the division."

"Where do I sign?"

Sam Tallarico is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.