DETROIT - Give mom a card and a pretty bouquet-even if it's dandelions-and she has a perfectly happy Mother's Day.

In the past I've gifted my own dad with an assortment of rose bushes, pine and maple trees, gift certificates, a garden bench, a grill and so many clothes he's forbidden me from giving him any more."I'm one man," he says. "Why do I need enough pants for an army?"He's always gracious, but I know these aren't things he really wants.What he really wants is a chain saw.And what he will never get - at least not from me - is a chain saw.I refuse to be party to the disaster I'm certain such a gift would cause. I will not be responsible for my dad losing an arm or accidentally cutting off his leg.Or the trauma my mom would endure knowing that Pop's out back with a chain saw - or even worse, up a tree trying to trim branches.Father's Day is June 19, and I've started shopping for the perfect alternative.If you're struggling as well, here are some ideas.

A steak dinner at a restaurant is always nice - gift certificates! - but lots of dads like to play with fire.They like to grill.Which is why Omaha Steaks is offering Father's Day specials online.The Ultimate Father's Day Gift Ensemble - four 10-ounce boneless strip steaks; four 8-ounce top sirloin steaks; 16, 5-ounce steak burgers - is $99.99 and is available through June 19.I've heard the cheesecake at Omaha Steaks is quite good, too.Order online at www.omahasteaks.com. To request a catalog: 800-960-8400.

Here's a way to make it more personal - an 11½-inch-long monogrammed branding iron from Williams-Sonoma.Hand-forged in Texas, pardner, it's available with two initials or three - it's $39.95 either way.You'll have to allow three or four weeks for delivery - but give your dad an IOU. He won't mind the wait.It's available at www.williams-sonoma.com and in the catalog; call 800-541-1262.

If you haven't checked out the Duluth Trading Company catalog or Web site lately, give it a look. It contains everything a guy could ever need - including clothing made from the fabric used to encase fire hoses (I have no idea why), stuff for the job and a baseball that measures the speed of your throw. A "smart chip" inside the ball detects when it leaves your hand and when it is caught.However, my absolute favorite item is the Crack Spackle - a spackle bucket with a longtail T-shirt inside .What's the longtail T? It's a 100 percent cotton T-shirt that's 3 inches longer than most , eliminating the age-old problem of plumber's butt.A great way for your dad to cover his ...The Crack Spackle bucket and shirt are $14.99. Or you can buy the T-shirt separately for $11.99.To order: www.duluthtrading.com. To get a catalog: 800-505-8888.

Give your dad a good night's sleep on some really nice sheets!I'm hearing the most fabulous things about the Essential Home line of 100 percent cotton, 250-thread count white sheets from Kmart!I'm hearing these fabulous things from people who can afford to spend a fortune on sheets - including one woman who orders her linens from Austria.The Kmart sheets are $14.99 to $34.99, depending on size.They're available in a variety of white-on-white patterns - dots, circles, stripes and herringbone. Just the thing to add a little flair to your room.Look for them at Kmart stores and at kmart.comI'm planning to celebrate Father's Day by buying some for myself - I'm sure my father would want me to have them.

Monopoly is celebrating its 70th anniversary with a new collector's edition of the board game - so if your dad's not a real estate mogul in real life, he can pretend.The tokens are bigger now. The racecar is a stretch roadster, the old shoe is now a sassy high heel. The hotels and houses are bigger, and the board is more colorful. Plus, it all comes in a tin box.It's $39.99 where toys are sold.And to be nice, think about slipping dad an extra "Get out of Jail Free" card.

And now, a special word to moms.It's always good to do something nice for the father of your children. So give him a big, fat kiss - and think about wearing Almay Long-lasting Lip Color.It's supposed to stay on for 12 hours, though I find I have to reapply. But unlike some long-lasting lipsticks - and I've tried tons - this doesn't leave my lips dry. It doesn't seep or bleed either.And the absolute best thing about this lip color is it doesn't kiss off.After a peck on the cheek - or something more intense - your guy won't end up wearing more lipstick than you are.Look for it at drugstores. It's $9.99.