If school halls could talk, many would tell stories filled with whispers, rumors, and teasing - even between friends.

Last week, however, students and teachers in the South Butler School District learned that bullying and harassment were more than just a rite of passage.

On Thursday and Friday, the district hosted representatives of the Ophelia Project, a national nonprofit organization promoting a safer social culture for youth by educating communities about relational aggression.

More than just a fancy term for harassment, relational aggression is a form of emotional bullying in which the aggressor uses relationships to try to exclude or harm his or her target.

To teach the dangers of relational aggression, a team of trained students visited Knoch High School and sixth graders at Knoch Middle School.

In addition to the training provided by the team's two facilitators, these nine female students from McDowell High School in Erie had both witnessed and been a part of relational aggression in their own way.

"We tell our own personal stories so they know that we understand it...that it's something that does happen and we have experience and we're not just lecturing them," explained 18-year-old Bonnie Larsen.

To get their message to a broad audience, the team prepared a multimedia presentation for the high school program and an interactive discussion for students in the sixth grade.

As the sixth grade presentation began, Susan Leone, a facilitator for the team, introduced the program and was interrupted by chatter from team members in the background.

The young women gossiped about another team member within earshot of her. This was an example of relational aggression in which both body language and verbal teasing excluded one group member.

Students were then divided into small groups, separating girls and boys, with a team member leading each discussion.Using a list of prepared questions, each group discussed some of the stresses they face in school and in their relationships with friends."There is no right or wrong answer," Kalena Popson, 16, told her group of girls, as she asked what qualities were important for friendship.After the small group discussion, the students were reunited and each group brought a list of the top three stresses they face at school.The lists included a number of social stresses, including trying to fit in, impressing others and "back stabbing."The list was used to distinguish physical and verbal aggression.One team member then told her story of relational aggression.An aggressor, she had teased another student, isolating her from her friends.Years later, the team member regrets the incident, noting the victim is still isolated from her past friends."We don't think about what happens to those people we do this to," said Leone."The good news is you can change that," said Katie Allison, director of the Ophelia Project in Erie, addressing the aggressors among the class.The team then identified the roles in relational aggression, including the aggressor or bully, his or her followers, the target or victim and the bystander or "kid in the middle."Kids in the middle include bystanders who feel it is none of their business and those who dislike the bullying but do not act.When asked whether students had ever felt like a kid in the middle, most hands were raised."Then why are you letting the aggressor make the rules?" asked Allison.Before leaving, each student was asked to fill out a survey and write a personal statement noting how he or she would try to prevent or change the aggression around them.Carla Fryling, another team facilitator, described the survey results as "overwhelmingly positive.""I think what you girls do is inspirational and kind. It was awesome. Thanks so much," read one comment."Thank you, you taught me to be kinder," stated another."Now I want to be a defender," wrote one self-described bully and former target."The girls really felt good about their interaction with the young men," added Fryling, noting that in the past the team's programs were focused on relational aggression between females.To give students and teachers an equal understanding of emotional bullying, Susan Wellman, founder and board president of the Ophelia Project, visited the school district on Friday, showing middle school and high school teachers the dynamics of relational aggression."I think a lot of this relational aggression happens below our radar screen," said the former teacher and Edinboro University professor.Wellman founded the organization in 1997, opening its national office in 2004 in Erie.She explained the name for the Ophelia Project came from the book "Reviving Ophelia," which explored relationships between young girls before the term relational aggression was developed.As researchers searched deeper into these relationships, the term "relational aggression" was developed, inspiring Wellman to take a stand against the cycle, which she had seen affect her daughter.Wellman classified social aggression as equally as harmful as physical aggression, but harder to identify."Schools aren't a place to toughen them up for the real world," she said, addressing the opinion that teasing is just a part of life.Throughout the presentation, Wellman named and explained five steps for schools to take in addressing relational aggression.The steps included recognizing the behavior, naming the behavior, establishing positive norms in the classroom, reinforcing the social norms and teaching children to deal with aggression.To recognize the behavior, Wellman turned to teachers, asking how they could get their students to discuss relational aggression.Middle school teachers suggested anonymous surveys and comment boxes."Be prepared to be surprised," said Wellman, who explained the "queen bees" or bullies among girls often have good social skills and seem friendly to teachers.In naming the behavior, she explained the importance of a shared vocabulary between students and teachers to identify the roles of aggressor, target and kids in the middle.The next steps advised teachers to make respect a requirement for students and to develop consequences for students who do not respect others."One of my theories is that a lot of kids don't realize that what they do is aggression," said Wellman.In addition to teaching students to identify aggression, the last step also outlines the need to provide tools for conflict resolution."Very few kids are defending each other," she said, "but when they do, they are very successful."In wrapping up the program, Wellman encouraged teachers once again to take steps to prevent relational aggression.Though Wellman speaks to groups on average of twice a month, Fryling said this was the first time the relational aggression team had been called so far from the Erie area.Middle school principal James George said the program was valuable for both the students and faculty."It's great that our children understand what's happening," he said, adding that it is important for students and teachers to learn the same information.George added that the program could help to reinforce values students learn at home."We want to make sure the Ophelia Project becomes a Knoch project."For information about the Ophelia Project and its programs, visit www.opheliaproject.org.