The late, brilliant comedian Joan Rivers’ favorite catchphrase was “Grow up!” It was said in jest, but meant in earnest to wake her shocked audiences from their stupor long enough to realize that her comedic targets were doing horrible things all the time.

It is in this same spirit that I urge the nation to “Grow up!” in its understanding of the university admissions process. The incredulity expressed upon the “discovery” that television stars Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and other high-powered principals conspired to fraudulently get their children and others entrance into elite colleges and universities is itself incredible.

Academic academies, despite their claims of devotion to Lady Justice style blindness, have never been very meritocratic in their admissions practices.

Admission departments arbitrarily establish priorities for small or large percentages of those they admit, including — in addition to varying weightings of grades and test scores and class rankings — such immeasurable factors as letters of recommendation, the reputation of your high school, your essays, your outside interests, etc. Applying to an admissions officer who was a wrestler? You might be advantaged if you wrestle in high school.

The well-regarded College Board states well the random array of entrance criteria in admissions policies around the country: “Geographic location, racial or ethnic background, extenuating or unusual life circumstances and experience living or studying overseas may all be influential.”

Equally significant are attributes: Money, societal position and legacy status are classic considerations. Different universities allow admittance according to which relatives have gone there; in what sports applicants excel; how famous, wealthy and significant are the applicants’ friends and kin; and whom they know.

There is no excusing the fraudulent behavior in the college admissions bribery case now in focus nationwide, but let’s not have crocodile tears implying that this is the only salient aspect of unfair competitive advantages: They are the rule, not the exception.

Richard E. Vatz is a professor at Towson University.