Balancing Act
Raising children can be one of the most challenging and rewarding things in life, but balancing the needs of family and career seems an impossible task.
Children have no sense of either deadlines or bottom lines. What they need, they need now.
Alicia List, 24, of Grove City, learned this when she had her first child, Halcyon, a year into her marriage.
List and her husband Micah, run their own business, Neck and Tie Co., in Grove City. They make and sell neckties, bow ties and pocket squares.
“I head up a lot of the design stuff, the spring line, product design, I do all the custom weddings,” she said.
This often means working with customers who need custom work done or have big orders for events.
The Lists have been focused on growing their business for more than two years.
“When we got married, we rebranded the business to Neck and Tie Co. in 2014,” she said.
One year later, their daughter was born, and their business kept expanding.
“We decided we're going to pursue this, and we know it'll be hard. It's not a typical nine-to-five job,” she said. “We've been picking away, growing our business.”
Nurturing both a family and a business brings a host of challenges. Her husband sometimes has to make trips for business and craft shows; orders can pile up some weeks and be gone the next; and all the while, the children need the time and attention that all young children do.
“Sometimes it's really overwhelming,” she said. “Micah has been a great support and help. Fortunately his job is flexible, so we can switch roles sometimes. Like right now, he's with the kids.”
Their second child, Zion, was born just four months ago, and as their family has grown, so have her responsibilities in the business.
“Since having kids, I've gotten even more involved,” she said. “It can be really difficult when you have a lot of things hanging over your head, but your kids need time and attention.”
List said what has helped them the most has been the support they receive from their church community.
“Lots of (those in) our community offer to watch the kids and baby-sit and let us work on our business,” she said.
List said she would encourage mothers considering careers to follow their passions.
“I would tell moms, it's never too late to pursue your dreams, but it'll be hard,” she said. It's all about “finding a balance, finding support, finding people to run alongside you and support your dreams.”
But that doesn't mean it's right for everyone, she said. “It's not wrong to give yourself and your time to motherhood.”“I don't want to pretend it's easy, because it's not. But it is doable,” List said.For parents with employers, balancing a demanding job and raising children is still very possible said Meredith Gustafsson of Mars, an operations engineer at XTO, a subsidiary of Exxon Mobil.“Just go for it,” she said. “I think everyone can do it.”Gustafsson has three children, Annelie, 10; Madeline, 8; and Ryan, 4. She is also working on systems at XTO related to hydro-fracking. Her job requires her to be able to monitor equipment and to address issues with the machines should they come up.It is a very demanding job.“I've known people who feel like they have to choose between parenting and a career,” she said. “But I think you can balance both.”“Work with your supervisors,” she said. “If your boss can be flexible with you when you have young children, you will be that much more dedicated in the years after.”Many employers are willing to work with their employees and parents should feel comfortable discussing their situations with them.Another piece of advice Gustafsson has for mothers is to make yourself valuable.“The more specialized you are, the more of an expert you are, the harder you are to replace,” she said.Businesses know that it is always better to keep a good employee than to have to find a new one, even if that means being flexible, she said.Dr. Thomas Wojciechowski, a pediatrician at Butler Memorial Hospital, said that the most important thing for children is consistency.“I think kids who have better routines and consistency are more likely to become productive members of society.”It is important to make sure family members and caregivers all understand the child's routine and that it needs to be followed, he said. “Make sure everyone is on the same page.”This can be hard when it comes to children whose parents are separated or those with numerous caregivers.Often, the relationships are difficult between parents and caregivers in these situations. Despite the difficulties, caregivers need to make an effort, he said.When it comes to picking a day care, Wojciechowski said to make sure it is well staffed and that the child has frequent checkups and all recommended immunizations.
