Marketplace   Menu Guide   Complete Pages      
butler eagle
Site last updated: Friday, January 30, 2015 Bookmark our site!
Local PennsylvaniaNationalInternationalNews Extras  
Published: December 13, 2013 print this article Print save this article Save email this article Email ENLARGE TEXT increase font decrease font

Grief amid holidays

One might think the first holiday season after the death of a loved one will be the hardest, but from my experience the second holiday season can actually be more painful. Protective early numbness had worn off and the ache deepened.
If your grief feels worse the second year, don’t think you are going crazy. What you are feeling is normal and natural. I hate to say this, but it gets harder before it gets better. Future holidays will get better year by year.
Since my first Christmas without my son Johnny, I have never been quite as enthused about the holidays as I once was. There is a sense of pain that hangs over the excitement others feel. But, to quote a cliché, life does go on.
If you’ve recently lost a love one, this year you might decide to do something different to make room for the pain.
Have another family member host the holiday dinner; keep your gift-giving simple; or donate to your loved ones’ favorite charity. Unless you have small children, adults will understand.
You may need to pick and choose which events you are able to attend. For example, if you choose to go to a friend’s New years eve party, you might want to slip out before midnight.
I am truly blessed to have good friends who include me in their holidays, so with a smile on my face and a song in my voice, I am able to enjoy these days.
Part of my healing journey has involved reaching out to people. I volunteer as a victim advocate, volunteer in the prison, do pet therapy for Children and Youth, and help at Katie’s Kitchen. Volunteering for me has been and still is heartwarming and healing. I have met many wonderful people along the way.
Comfort a person who is also hurting, not with a long story of how sad you are that Aunt Tilly died, but just offer a hug — sometimes that’s all the comfort a person may need.
To this day, people say to me, “I don’t know how you got through your son’s death. My answer is: I pray that you never have to find out, but I will never get through it.”
You just learn to process the pain differently. There is never a time when you will say “Ah, now I have finally completed my grief, or “Now I have healed.
We are forever changed by the death of a loved one. Hopefully we become different , more compassionate, more appreciative and more tolerant people. Healing is a lifetime process.




Judi Baglier,
Grief counselor
Renfrew
Back
 
Comments
Order Photos!
 
MORE LETTERS TO THE EDITOR HEADLINES
arrow Thanks for the help
arrow Are they that smart?
arrow Guess who’s paying?
arrow Serving the public
 
MOST READ ARTICLES
arrow District attorney pulls back offer of lie detector test
arrow Mother catches baby dropped from window of burning house
arrow Film crew to shoot at Butler Memorial
arrow Molestation case hinges on lie detector test