In his never-ending quest to “scoop” the competition, Butler Eagle mascot Scoop recently procured an exclusive interview with Mrs. Santa Claus, wife of the big guy himself, at the North Pole. Their conversation went as follows:

Scoop: Thank you, Mrs. Claus, for taking the time to speak with me.

Oh, that’s quite all right. But tell me ... Did you fly up here yourself?

Scoop: I did.

That explains the frost on the wings, then.

Scoop: It does. I see you are baking cookies. I guess Santa eats more than his share, huh?

Actually, these are for the elves. They can’t work on empty stomachs, you know. Those boys are in the shop pretty much day and night at this time of year.

Scoop: Does Santa supervise?

Santa sleeps. He needs to rest up to prepare to load his sleigh and do what he does every Christmas Eve. He’s not getting any younger, you know.

Scoop: Your husband certainly has a high-stress job, filling the Christmas wishes of so many children. Does he ever talk to you about it?

My goodness, yes. You know the part when he’s making his list, checking it twice? He’s going over it with me the second time.

Not too many naughty kids slip past me, mind you. You know what they say: Mother knows best.

Scoop: How do you get along with the reindeer?

They are like children to me. I feed them, bathe them, walk them, hook them up for their long trip every year.

I’m sure you’ve noticed how bright Rudolph’s nose shines every Christmas Eve. I polish that thing up every year. That’s all me.

Scoop: Does Rudolph appreciate it?

He says it tickles.

Scoop: What is Santa’s favorite meal?

Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams and pumpkin pie.

Scoop: Sounds like Thanksgiving.

Look at the man’s belly. We have Thanksgiving-type meals around here quite often. And we never have leftovers.

Scoop: So how do you stay so thin?

There’s never any leftovers for me, either.

Scoop: By the way, what is your maiden name?

Mary X. Masters.

Scoop: Merry XMas, for short?

You don’t miss a thing, my feathered friend.

Scoop: What do you do during the non-Christmas season?

It’s always Christmas season around here. It’s always snowing, the toy factory is always running. The elves just work shorter shifts, that’s all.

When things slow down a little bit, I catch up on my sewing, knit Santa a new stocking cap, check out the latest cookie recipes. I have to keep up with the times, you realize.

Scoop: Just an old-fashioned girl?

And young at heart.

Scoop: Do you have any other hobbies?

Shopping, of course.

Scoop: Doesn’t Santa shower you with gifts?

He showers the world with gifts. I’m just happy he showers when he gets home.

Scoop: Do you ever help Santa with his grooming? That beard and mustache must take some work.

You sound jealous.

Scoop: A little.

Actually, we have the same hair stylist. Santa has an image to protect and I’m just not myself until I get my hair done.

Scoop: What’s the best gift your husband ever gave you?

Respect. He’s the guy who gets the glory as one of the biggest legends known to mankind, and he knows he can’t do it without me.

Scoop: This has been quite informative. Thank you again. I guess I’ll be flying back home now.

That’s a long flight. Before you go, I’ve got some hot chocolate and toasted bird seed in the kitchen.

Scoop: Bless you.